


Fruition

by EarthCallingAlice



Series: New Year Series [2]
Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Canon Het Relationship, Coming Out, Committed Relationship, Crime Fighting, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Family Drama, Frottage, Hate Crimes, Het, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Major Character Injury, Married Characters, Masturbation, Minor Violence, Mother-Son Relationship, Mutant Politics, Oral Sex, Slash, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 17:46:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3945916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EarthCallingAlice/pseuds/EarthCallingAlice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Logan wants to take another step in the sexual part of their new relationship causing Kurt to have doubts, which leads Kurt and Logan to ponder if the romantic changes in their relationship are worth jeopardizing their friendship as they have begun to quarrel but before they can reconcile fate takes a dark turn, threatening to take away that choice forever. Also, Mystique finds herself in a personal dilemma of the family kind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place after my AU fic "New Year." Ororo's wedding and House of M never took place so that means the X-Force hit-squad never existed either. Also, Scott and Emma never broke up.
> 
> Originally published on June 22, 2013
> 
> I do not own the X-Men. They belong, hmmm.... I think to some company called Marvel Comics that is now owned by Disney? Yeah, that's it. Bill, however, belongs to me.

^^^

They entered the parlor, heads groggy from the evening’s party spirits. Logan and Kurt were happy that just this once an X-Men ceremony went without a hitch.

“I haven’t seen Scott look like that in a long time.” Kurt said wistfully.

“Huh?” Logan was awakened from his alcohol haze by Kurt’s statement. “Like what?”

Kurt was silent for a moment with his thoughts as he slightly bit his lower lip. “Like pure joy. He was so unrestrained with it. Even before when he had shown his happiness, there was always a hint of worry there, like something would take it away.”

“Man has issues…” Logan mumbled. Logan thought on his own words, the picture of mental health that he was, he also wondered on how his “issues” could shatter things at any moment. Maybe they already had. Since Kurt and him first got together in that motel room on New Year’s things were pretty wonderful for the most part, though Kurt at times would go through little bouts of being distant as was his nature.

Maybe that’s why they fit so well, they’d come and leave on a tide then finally return to each other, they always seemed to return to each other. Like the waves of an ocean it was unstoppable. At least that’s what Logan liked to believe. Maybe Kurt was distant because he finally sobered to whose bed he was choosing to lie in and he was waiting for a way to break it to him gently. Maybe this whole thing was a best friend’s pity after all.

“Logan?” Kurt walked over and stood next to his friend, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Logan was again jolted out of his thoughts by Kurt; Logan smiled mischievously and put on a fairly convincing facade. “Well, what’s to worry about? He only just married Emma flamin’ Frost!”

“Ouch!” Logan felt a pinch on his arm.

“What? What’d I do?”

“That wasn’t very nice.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, Elf, Frost isn’t very nice.”

“Well…” Kurt wasn’t going to argue that Emma could really bite when she wanted to. “It doesn’t really matter what anyone thinks. She makes Scott happy. And we should be happy for him. Both of them. Besides, I think you’re just still angry she put crazy glue on the seat of your Harley a few weeks ago.” Kurt’s mouth twitched in amusement.

Logan had decided to go commando that day and Kurt had to port him out of his pants nearly flashing the kiddies on campus. It wasn’t until just recently did the ribbing finally stop. Logan now looked at Kurt as he plopped down onto the sofa, one parts clumsy and one parts grace. The older man was always amazed by it. Even drunk he could never seem to completely lose his gracefulness. Logan was convinced he did it on purpose. He thought Kurt was never quite comfortable with how seemingly perfect yet alien his reflexes were. His young friend continued to speak.

“You had made quite a spectacle.”

“I made – hey, just whose side are you on?”

“Did I not aid you in your moment of need, my love? Did I not—Was!?” Kurt let out a whoosh of air and began to laugh at Logan’s attack. “Logan!”

“Oh, no! Don’t you start that up again, I’m not in the mood for… games.” Logan stopped speaking and looked down at Kurt who was all playful and flushed from humor and alcohol, looking damn fine in the rented tux. Incredibly fine. Those fiery eyes dancing with mirth and a ting of naughtiness pinned him in place. Suddenly he was being pulled as if stuck in a vortex as he slowly reached the destination; the destination was decidedly Kurt’s luscious indigo lips slightly curved in mischief.

Kurt made a quiet wordless gasp as Logan’s hand brushed the tip of Kurt’s tail and Logan took the opportunity to dive inside its depths, tasting its hot, spicy sweetness. And he kissed him, and kissed him and kissed him some more as Kurt kissed him back and then some for good measure.

Kurt rubbed his hand over Logan’s chest, rubbing a hard nipple, as he continued to suck on Kurt’s plump bottom lip with relish. Logan moaned as Kurt touched the sensitive flesh. He heard Kurt whimper and gasp in need and it was as loud as a siren to his sensitive ears and went straight to his cock making it rock hard.

“Mmm—mmPH! Was ist-?”

Logan felt as if cold water was splashed on him and swiftly pushed himself up on his forearms. He was panting wildly. Kurt was looking up at him, wide eyed and breathing just as heavily.

The older mutant went to the edge of the sofa and sighed, clutching the arm of it tightly as he tried to maintain control. He sat there a minute, and in that time Logan could hear Kurt’s breath and pulse settle from a rapid beat to a more calm pace. Finally, a gentle accented voice broke the silence. 

“Logan?”

The feral mutant looked at Kurt, disheveled with a still present desire, and more than a bit of confusion.

“Why did you stop?”

“Because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to.”

Kurt just tilted his head looking more confused. Logan took another deep breath; there was no escaping this he thought.

“I meant I don’t think I’d be able to control myself this time, that I might go further… than you’re ready for.”

Kurt blinked then blushed slightly. “Oh…”

“Yeah… **Oh**.”

Kurt swallowed. “I’m not… you know I’m not experienced in certain things in regards to two men...”

“That’s alright, Kurt. No one’s perfect the first time. I could tell ya some stories of my own.” Logan chuckled. “I just want to be with you. I want to take this to the next level, but, you’re pushing me away because you’re afraid I’ll find out you’re not some perfect Casanova.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow mockingly. “I’m not?”

“Kurt…”

Then Kurt suddenly had a darker tone. “Well, that's easy for **you** to say…” Kurt said, running his fingers through his dark curly hair.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Logan… forget I said—"

“No. Tell me, I wanna know. This should be interesting...”

“I’m just having a hard time taking all this in. This is you and me, Logan. You can’t really be serious. "

“What, you think I’m just hounding you for sex and I’d just dump you like that? Let it ruin our friendship? You think I’d just casually sacrifice it?”

Kurt just looked away afraid to let Logan be able to see his eyes.

“You do. Damn, Elf. I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I’m sorry.” Kurt got up, reaching out to Logan.

“You think I don’t worry about things? About how I might drive you off? Ruin our friendship? You think you don’t mean as much to me?” Logan looked around the room wearily, “I need a cigarette.”

“Logan, please don’t go like this.” Logan’s heart felt a bit of joy at the sound of Kurt’s panicked voice but he was still too angry to let it visibly move him.

“Stay. I’ll leave. You’ve had a lot to drink. You may do something you’ll regret in the morning.”And with that Logan was gone leaving Kurt alone.

Kurt brought his knees up to his chin, tail wrapped tightly around his leg. A frown etched in elfish features. “Damn! This is exactly what I was trying to not let happen.”

^^^

As soon as Logan was outside he felt the oppressive fog lift, he took in the air and let it fill his lungs and clear his mind. He walked the grounds for what seemed like forever. The day had long faded into night with the sparkling moon overhead shining down and outlining the trees and grass. It set a reflection on the lake making it shine like a sapphire stone.

Logan rubbed the back of his neck. He was beginning to get frustrated. The lake was the last place he should have went as it reminded him of Kurt. He remembered last summer how Kurt was being especially playful when the X-men went for a swim. He was flirting with Betsy and Ororo mercilessly and even stole a kiss from Betsy. He noticed how fine both women were but he was more envious of them than him. That was when he realized that this wasn’t a simple crush. It just snuck up on him viscously one day a few years back, leaving Logan longing and aching for his best friend in more ways than one for so long it might as well have been forever. He always knew Kurt was a desirable, attractive man but then it changed from superficial musings to something stronger, and more annoying Logan decided, because certainly these feelings weren't worth all these damn complications! It made him edgy. The "safe zone" of his friendship with Kurt was no longer there. The place he could go where things were uncomplicated. Where he could leave his Jean and Mariko trouble behind. Those troubles were Kurt now.

He couldn't stop sneaking glances at Kurt in his black bikini clad body – muscles rippling as he swam. He had caught Logan by the tree, sitting on a blanket and drinking a beer; he waved at him and ran over.

“What are you doing over here all alone, Mein Freund? With beautiful fraulein’s about, waiting to be graced by your company?”

Logan smiled at Kurt’s roguish antics. “I’m enjoying myself enough right here. Sometimes I like the peace.”

Kurt suddenly got an animated look and acted like a kid on Christmas just presented with the best gift ever. “Is that…?” Kurt motioned to the six pack of beer.

“Yes it is.” Logan said playfully. “I got the last pack of this stuff. Just in time too.” He made a show of drinking his beer by smacking his lips and letting out an "Ahh..." of satisfaction.

“Give it here!” Kurt said as he got on all fours and reached across Logan, snatching a beer. Logan swallowed at the sight; damn he looked so gorgeous he felt he would gobble him up. The pose suited his catlike demeanor perfectly.

“Hey! You—“ Logan stopped as Kurt moved back to his sitting place, his face was only inches from his, wet hair matted to his forehead and devilish grin bright in the sun. He looked him straight in the eye for a second before sitting back down. Kurt looked so sleek he thought, like blue glass.

“Yes?” He laughed as he settled down with his beer. “You seem to forget you owe me some beer this time." He winked before he took a sip. Logan was still a bit off guard, his pulse was racing. _Get your act together, old man._

“Right. It must feel nice for a change.”

Kurt’s only response was to stick out his tongue. After a few more sips Kurt set down his beer and leaned back on his arms, face tilted skyward, smile wide. “Mmm. It’s so lovely out, isn’t it?”

Logan’s eyes traced the long and lithe form of his friend as he flexed it in pleasure. “Yup. Sure is.” _Manoman!_ Logan felt he was in danger of bursting into flames at any moment.

“I think I’ll stay,” Kurt said “So I can help you with the task of drinking this beer."

"How generous of you." Logan said flatly. "Glad you think so highly of me. Still, what would the gals think about you abandoning them so easily for beer?"

"Ah, but it's not just any beer. And they cannot compete with your company, Mein Freund."

Logan knew this was how Kurt talked to people, it was part of the charm he got used to using to disarm people from their "torches" and "pitchforks" mentality at the sight of him. Not that Kurt wasn't charming on his own. He didn't realize what affect it could have on some. Kurt always had that way in how he dealt with people, man or woman and wondered if that was a sign to be hopeful or was he over-reading into it to make him feel more comfortable with his feelings and Kurt's reactions to them if he were to discover them?

Kurt's tail dangled lazily to his hip as he lay on his side and looked up at Logan. “So, how are things with you and that detective?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing really went any further than a roll in the hay.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Kurt frowned.

“I’m not really. She was a fine woman, don’t get me wrong, and sharp as a whip, but it was lacking something.”

“Ah, say no more my friend. That leaves a chance for Ororo then? I think you make a better couple anyway.”

Logan looked a bit shocked. “It wouldn’t bother you?”

“Nein, why should it?”

“I dunno. It seemed you were getting pretty cozy with her. The dancing? The flirting?”

“Oh…” Logan thought he caught the beginning of a pained look on his face before he changed it to a smile. “I know when I’m outmatched, besides, it hasn’t become all that serious, much like your detective friend."

“Rachel?”

Kurt had the beginnings of a detached look in his eyes. “That too apparently.”

“Christine?” Now Kurt looked soured.

“I’m sorry.”

“… What’s with the grilling, Mein Freund?”

“Nothin’! I’m just being a friend. Can’t a guy be a pal?”

“Hmm, yes, well.”

They both sat quiet for a few minutes.

“It’s not serious between me and Ro either.”

“Oh?” Kurt looked up at him intently; the older man noted a drop of water as it slid down his nose, then down to his chin, then neck and shoulder. He wanted to trace it with his tongue.

“Nah. We’re just good friends and hopeless flirts. ” Logan reflected on his statement with irony.

“Huh? That’s too bad. Ororo’s a wonderful woman.”

“Too true, but I think she has more serious eyes now for someone else. I hear Forge is making a comeback to the ole skull cracking business.”

“He’s returning to the school?”

“If what Xavier is saying is true it appears so. You should have seen the look on Ro’s face.”

“Huh… well, I wish them well and if they still harbor any feelings towards each other that they will make their way back to each others arms."

“I do too. I don’t think Ro’ ever settled that in her heart.” Logan said quietly.

“I guess this means it’s just you and me again.” Kurt smiled before he lay on his back to take a nap.

“Right, just you and me…” Logan smiled crookedly at his companion before taking another swig of his beer.

As Logan came back to the present he noted how much things changed and wondered if he did the right thing in revealing his attraction to Kurt. Logan hated this feeling and admitting he was like everyone else deep down. He should get on with life. _Accept that Kurt doesn’t feel the same way for you as you do for him._ Isn’t that what he tells others to do? If he kept this up there won’t be a friendship left either.

He remembered how annoyed he was with himself that summer day at not being able to simply tell his friend how he felt. It wasn’t because he thought Kurt would be disgusted, yes he was religious but Kurt was always one of the more liberal Catholics. It wasn’t because he thought he would hate him, because he knew Kurt. And he wouldn’t. But he was afraid of the darker parts of his life putting a wedge between them.Or that Kurt plainly just didn't reciprocate the attraction. He didn't know if he could take that rejection. Logan suddenly decided that it was time to end theses nagging thoughts and head back inside and try to patch things up with Kurt.

As he entered through the kitchen he found that his friend beat him to it. Who knows how long his friend had been waiting for him. The thought caused a flutter in his belly. Kurt was weary looking and clad in a t-shirt and sweats, ready to give up and go to bed.

“Logan, you’re back. Thank God.” Kurt said in relief.

“Hey, Elf. Waiting up for me?” He tried to say with humor but failed.

“Logan, I’m sorry about what happened. Please don’t be angry.”

“All right. But there is something that’s been bugging me that I want clear.”

“Yes, that is what I wanted to talk about, Logan.”

Kurt stood silent as if his mind wandered off to somewhere else.

“Well?”

“Ja, right. Talk.”

“You said that you think this is easier for me. “

Kurt looked at him pleadingly. “I didn’t really mean that, Logan.”

“Those were your words so how was it really meant.” Logan crossed his arms, giving Kurt his full attention.

Kurt sighed again but this time more heavily as he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, it was getting to be a habit, he thought. “All right. “ Kurt throws up his hands. “That’s because I don’t think you understand. At least not completely.”

So. There it was, Logan thought. “How wouldn’t I? You don’t think I’ve ever been hurt before?” Mariko and Jean were not what he’d call 'Happy Endings.'

“No, that’s not what I mean.” Kurt turned his back to Logan and crossed his arms, looking at his feet as he flexed his toes. Logan retained patience and waited for Kurt to continue. “All my life I looked like this. It’s not…” Kurt cleared his throat as if revealing some horrible awful secret but Kurt felt he at least owed Logan the truth considering all they’ve been through together. Kurt thought he must really care for Logan to address something that he hated to admit to himself much less anyone else. “easy to let someone have such an intimate key into your life with a form such as this.”

Logan looked at him and tried to keep his expression neutral, he didn’t want any judgment, intentional or otherwise, to scare him off.

“This is hard for me.”

“I’m still listening. I have patience, Elf.”

“I **know** I flirt a lot. I **know** but – dammit, you all take it so for granted. Some days I’m just happy someone shows interest.”

That hurt, Logan thought. He would have gone to that motel room with anyone that night. Of course he wouldn’t show it. “So all this being comfortable with yourself was just bravado? You really do think you’re a monster?”

Kurt shook his head. “No, Of course not. I don’t think I’m hideous or anything like that, but I can’t help but be affected by others responses to me.”

“But they aren’t all **bad**. How many phone numbers do you get? I think there’s something more to it.” Logan feared it may be the blood on his hands.

“Logan… I trust you. I do. I don’t want you to think that I don’t.”

Logan chomped on his cigar. “It sure doesn’t sound like it to me. But, I guess it sort of makes sense.”

The statement caught Kurt to jerk his head at Logan in question. “What?”

“Amanda.”

“What do you mean?” Kurt’s voice changed to one of coolness as if a button had been pressed deep inside him.

“I mean here’s this woman, gorgeous woman and she’s older than you, who you grew up with. You felt she would be safe. You knew she accepted you. “

“That’s absurd! “ Kurt was visibly shocked at Logan’s words and looked righteously appalled. He never saw such anger directed at him from Kurt in his life. He decided to ignore it and move forward.

“But Kurt, we’ve been friends for years; the X-Men are as close as you can get. I’ve seen your best and worst and I don’t care. All I know is that I want you.”

“I can’t believe you think this of me! That you’d pervert my past relationship in such a way because you want something from me. I always knew your ego was huge but this--!" Kurt clenched his fists and teleported away without finishing his sentence.

And just like that, as soon as they came together they fell apart. Logan wondered when the world would stop spinning. He wanted to kick himself for not being able to communicate without setting people to storming off. The thing is Kurt used to be one of the easiest people for him to talk to as he accepted Logan’s ways. Maybe Kurt was right. Maybe he did open up a can of worms that was better left closed. He made his way to his bedroom barely realizing it. He cleaned up in the bathroom and robotically walked to his bed and did the best he could to get some rest. It was a rocky night to say the least.

^^^

Kurt groaned as he awoke to the piercing sound of his alarm clock and looked to his night stand, Jack Daniels bottle half empty. He told himself he wouldn’t do this again, drink out of emotional stress. Here he was repeating what he swore not to do again. He remembered how difficult things were with Amanda and how alcohol didn’t help matters. He grabbed his head. He felt dizzy. Kurt prided himself at not getting many hangovers even without a healing factor; looks like this would be the time to prove him wrong. It could be worst; he didn’t feel sick, just very thirsty and hungry and slightly off balance. He would still be able to teach today.

He almost couldn’t believe what happened last night. It would almost be comical, if he wasn’t in so much turmoil. Just as he was ready to fix things with Logan he ported away in anger. What was it that was making them act so impulsively? Recklessly? Why did love and sex make people act so irrationally?

As Kurt entered the kitchen he caught site of Logan. They’re eyes met briefly, both sets determined to be guarded, before they both looked away. Logan had decided to chat it up with Kitty and pretend nothing was amiss and Kurt decided that he would do the same as he made his way to the coffee pot like any other day. Hank was there too and handed him a steaming cup, Good Morning greetings exchanged. He sipped his java and drifted off to how he missed the feel of Logan’s warm, powerful form lying next to him when he woke up. He felt so safe and… loved. He was so caught up in it that he barely heard Kitty’s question.

“Hey, fuzz face. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Katzchen. My favorite fraulein. How are things?” He smiled brightly, tail wagging slightly. He was sincerely glad to see his close friend. Despite Kurt's best efforts he couldn't keep his tail from responding to how he felt. He must seem like some overgrown blue dog.

“They are ok, but I miss you horribly. Rachel and Ororo too. Us being on different teams and us teaching in different departments has really put a cramp in my friendships.”

“I miss you too, Kitty.” Kurt smiled as he hugged the brunette, which set him to facing Logan who was sitting at the table, their eyes locked and Kurt couldn’t help but see the loss and desire displayed in Logan’s dark eyes. His heart skipped a beat. He almost missed their previous coldness as this now put the ball in his court, waiting to be picked up. 

Kurt focused his attention back on Kitty.” I mean it. I’m going to ask Scott if I can switch teams for a bit.”

“That would be great.”

“I think Logan will need help keeping you out of trouble. “

Logan and Kurt smiled at Kitty’s remark but the awkwardness between the men was clear. Kitty tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow before looking between them. “Everything ok?”

“Of course, Punkin.’ Right as rain.” Logan said, though a bit unconvincingly .

“Besides, bar hopping with your beer buddy must be getting old.” Kitty laughed.

“Oh… I tried for something else, kiddo. Kurt’s been the stick in the mud.”

“That’s hard to believe.”Kitty replied. Kurt gave Logan an _I’m not amused_ look to him as Kitty’s back was turned. Logan just smiled smugly.

“Well I’ve got to go, you two. See you later?”

“Later?” Kurt said, but it was too late as Kitty was gone. 

“Yeah, I better head out myself. I've gotta whole new set of moves to teach a bunch of snarling and moody adolescents.”

“Sounds like your type of crowd.” Kurt retorted. Logan stopped for a second at the jab then continued to walk, deciding to ignore it.

“So, are you looking forward to the cookout?” The X-Men’s resident Doctor/Scientist asked.

“Cookout?”

“Yeah, a cookout,” said Hank “For all the X-Men , students and staff. It will be fun. We haven’t had something like this in a while. “

“Everyone? Is Logan going to be there?”

“Far as I can tell. I know you can’t be away from your beer buddy for long.” Hank chuckled.

Kurt panicked inwardly. Right. Beer buddy. If only Hank knew it was much more complicated than that now. He wished he could go back to those simpler times but a part of him despised his own cowardice in regards to Logan. He did have feelings for him. He was so confused.

“So, are you going?”

“I’m not sure...”

“Oh, come on, Kurt. It wouldn’t be a party without you, you know that and the students are looking forward to seeing you there too.”

Kurt decided to put his discomfort aside and smiled. He was an adult after all. Only children should be able to act like this, Kurt reasoned. “All right. I accept the invitation.”

“Great. See you on the main grounds at 3:00?”

Kurt nodded. Once the good doctor left Kurt let out a sigh of relief and let himself look as distressed as he felt. He went out of the kitchen and into the parlor and walked over to the bookcase. He picked up an old picture of him and Logan. Both standing side by side, it was a lovely spring day and the two had gone fishing. They both had a good catch that day. Both of their faces were filled with simple joy and affection, nothing like it is now – tainted and complicated due to desires. Logan had his arm draped around Kurt’s shoulder and Kurt was pointing to the big fish Logan was holding up. He sighed. How had things turned upside down so quickly? How would he be able to face Logan after everything that’s been said? There may have been some small bit of truth to what Logan said, but to trivialize his feelings and past relationships hurt. It sort of reinforced what he felt how others saw him, even if Logan didn’t mean what he said in the same way.

“Well… no more time for a lovers troubles, “ Kurt looked at his watch, “it’s time for Kurt Wagner the teacher to see to his students.”

^^^


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt and Logan want to reconcile but fate takes a dark turn, threatening to take away that choice forever.

^^^

Kurt wanted to scream, he let his troubles with Logan affect his performance in class today. He began to go over the wrong homework assignment and minutes had passed before a student finally pointed it out. He also let his mind wander a couple of times causing the students to have to repeat themselves, one even suggested he get looked at by a doctor. What a mess! Finals would be coming up soon and he couldn’t afford to be this mixed up. It wasn’t fair to his students. Kurt was a bit embarrassed to say the least. He learned to put emotions and everyday stimulants aside to get a job done as leader of Excalibur so why was Logan such a big deal? He was always a bit sensitive but this was ridiculous even for him. Perhaps he just had never found someone to get to him the way Logan has? Kurt wondered.

“Damn.” Kurt slammed his hand on his desk in frustration. “Logan, sometimes…” The young German took a few deep breaths to calm himself then began to prepare the students next assignment and catch up now that class had been dismissed. Still, he again found his mind drifting off to the day’s events and the rather embarrassing episode he had during his class.

_Kurt readjusted himself in his seat again at his desk and fiddled with his pen. *His chest, his arms and that back, that strong back…*_

_“Mr. Wagner?” Came a young female voice._

_“Yes, Tia?” *That cocky yet affectionate smile he gets before he is about to do something amazing with his hands and lips. The way-- *_

_“Are you all right?” *The way he made me feel.*_

_“Yes…” Kurt wasn’t sure of the truth in his reply._  
  
As Kurt came back to the present he began to admonish himself. Why was he angry at Logan? He was the one who couldn’t make up his mind. _What do you want, Kurt Wagner?_ Granted, Logan wasn’t the easiest person to try to understand and he didn’t always have the best way with words but he was partially at fault. Obviously pretending that he and Logan weren’t just recently apart of a rather intense affair wasn’t working no matter how he may pretend otherwise.

How humiliating it would be if his students knew the real reason he was acting strange, he wasn’t sick but he had been what? In love? He wanted nothing more than to take the last 24 hours back and lose himself in pleasure with Logan. He could almost feel it as if it were real. His mind had recalled something that happened a couple of weeks ago when he had stayed in his office well into the evening, grading papers. His feral lover had surprised him and took him on one of the most erotic rides he had ever experienced, suffice to say it ended with a bang. Kurt smiled at the memory as he wet his lips.

_Kurt squirmed in his seat and bit his lip, eyes rolling into the back of his head as Logan took all of him in and sucked on his sensitive flesh almost mercilessly. The young German clutched the arms of the chair in pained lust. As if Logan’s lips on his cock weren’t enough, the noises coming from Logan would surely bring him over the edge. Kurt came with a soft cry, tugging at Logan’s hair. He sighed and looked down at Logan through sex-hazed eyes, who had rested his cheek on Kurt’s lap with a satisfied smile on his face. “Once I’m done with my work… it will be your turn…” Kurt said , voice thick as he stroked Logan’s hair and whiskers. The older man looked up and smiled deviously and replied, “Now that sounds like a date.” Kurt laughed._

Logan had a way of making him feel alive, and more than that, he felt safe and knew whatever he had to face that Logan would be at his side. Of course it had only been a few months and it could just be the giddiness of the unexplored that was coloring his perceptions. It would end soon enough. Well, it certainly seemed that way as they were barely speaking to each other now. It had only been a day since their difficulties had started (even though it felt like much longer) there would still be time to fix it. Kurt just had to decide whether he wanted to fix it. And what’s more, Logan had to be willing to fix it too. Either way, Kurt will have to confront Logan soon if he is to reconcile or… decide to end it for good.

“It’s useless.” He gathered his papers and decided it was futile to attempt to get any more work done, he was satisfied with what he did manage to get done, it was nearing the time of the cookout anyway, he reasoned. It was time to get ready, he wanted to squeeze in a shower before the festivities – he hoped it would calm his mind.

^^^

Logan watched from the back porch with only mild interest as he saw the event planner direct the employees in setting up the celebration. He only had one class to teach that day which left him with a lot of time to wander the grounds… alone. Funny, that wasn’t a problem before, Logan thought bitterly. He was the poster child for loner wasn’t he?

He tried to focus on the event at hand but to no avail, his mind was on Kurt and one of their trysts. It started out with their usual hungry kissing and desperate touching, it usually ended with them rubbing themselves together but Logan thought since this was his mind he’d decide how it would go this time. Logan was now thrusting inside of Kurt as the other threw his head back and wrapped his legs tightly around his hips. The blue man’s face scrunched up in pleasure, his name in a heated tone springing forth from his lips.

 _“Logan, Please--!”_ At those words Logan put more force into his thrusts. He could imagine Kurt’s strong yet soft legs wrapped around his waist and his swollen cock encased in his tightness and heat. Logan let out a small moan at the thought. He left the porch and went inside and made use of the bathroom nearby to relieve himself. He leaned his back against the door and sighed as he unzipped his pants and let his lust take hold, safe in the knowledge of privacy. He pretended it wasn’t his own hand bringing him pleasure but Kurt’s taut, hot body. He imagined Kurt’s euphoric yet pained face, his quick breaths and hard body covered in a sheen of sweat and lastly Kurt’s cries before he finally came hard in his hand, warm wetness splashing against the skin of his palm. He groaned and let out a long breath as he slumped against the door.

He zipped up and straightened himself out before he made his way to the sink. He grabbed the bar of soap and ran the faucet, he scrubbed at his hands absently. This is no way to live, Logan thought, as he reached for the towel on the rack and dried his hands. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and noted how tired his eyes were. _So, bub, is this how it’s always going to be? Are you still here? Fawning over someone you can’t have? Again?_ He placed the towel back on the rack and looked back up into the mirror and saw a faint outline of a person, he was only slightly startled by it. As he adjusted his eyesight it became more clear , the person was… Kurt - dressed in the uniform of a priest, but that was impossible. He felt as if he was having a dream because this should have been much stranger than it felt. He wondered what that said about himself. The young man had a serious look on his face, almost accusing, gold eyes piercing into his mind and evaluating its inner workings. "Aren’t you going to fight for me? For us? Or are you going to let me go like the others?” Kurt crossed his arms and leaned his body against the wall, lips pursed and resentment clear on his face. His voice was cool. “I guess I was right. I guess I mean nothing to you. Well, it was nice while it lasted.” The soft German accent said mournfully.

His voice became bitter again, “Besides, you can have me any way you want in your mind. Without worry of judgment. “ The image of Kurt sighed and continued, “So... this is how it ends, and does that knowledge comfort you now?”

Logan tried to respond “I…” he shook his head at the vision and closed his eyes, when he opened them again the object of his longing and his misery was gone. Logan raged against the vision and the message within it. Kurt will listen to reason. He had too. Logan pondered at what had just occurred. This sort of thing would happen to him on occasion. It had been a while so it took him a bit by surprise. He wondered if it was a side effect of all the times his mind had been tampered with. Or maybe he was just cracking up. Perhaps he should see a doc about it.

Logan peered at his watch half-heartedly. Well, he’d have to address this another time or he’d be late for the cookout. “Whoop-de-doo…” He muttered sarcastically.

^^^

Kurt surveyed the field as the party was in full swing, the smell of barbeque filled his nostrils and a rather spirited rendition of the Beatles ‘Come Together’ was being played by the hired band.

“You’re gonna get it!” Kurt caught a female student scream, she appeared to be soaking wet as she chased a rather guilty looking young male. He shook his head and chuckled at the teens antics.

He had just finished listening to a heavy scientific debate between Forge and Hank. During the discussion, that got a bit… enthusiastic, he and Ororo just stared awkwardly and would insert an occasional nod but were careful not to commit to any one point of view. Kurt smiled at Ororo and shrugged. The weather Goddess looked like she had to struggle from rolling her eyes but he had noted her fingers were laced with the mutant inventors in a tight and intimate grip. He felt a great loss at the sight. He could have been at that same place with Logan.

“Hello, Mr. Wagner!” One of the students waved at Kurt.

“Hello, Linda. Are you enjoying yourself?” He looked over to her companion who looked as if he was being forcefully dragged over. Kurt stifled an amused snort. He suspected the bright young student had a bit of a crush on him. He will do nothing to encourage it of course but he’s going to be just as polite to her as any of his other students. There was no reason to embarrass the girl. Besides, his relations with his students were important to him and he wanted to be approachable. Judging by teenagers it was likely to blow over rather quickly.

“Lots, this band is pretty awesome.” She beamed.

“Ja. It plays some rather excellent Beatles covers.” Kurt smiled.

“You like the Beatles? I’m not surprised, they are wonderful. “

“Yes, I agree. I really like the classics, and the Beatles is one of my favorite bands as they were who I listened to the most when I was younger.” Kurt noted the boy was becoming agitated so decided to include him. “How about you, young sir?”

“Uh…”

His girlfriend interrupted. ”Oh, this is Mike. Sorry, where are my manners?”

“Hello, Mike.” He shook his hand.

“He has the worst taste in music! Unlike you. By the way, I thought your latest drama exercise was brilliant. I quite liked your choice of Macbeth.” Her boyfriend rolled his eyes.

“Um, Linda? We were supposed to meet up with Carrie and Josh by the pool remember?” Mike said with some suffering in his tone.

“Don’t be rude.” She admonished as she smiled contritely at Kurt.

Kurt smiled at the two’s behavior. “That’s alright, you two go on ahead.”

“Are you sure?” Linda looked disappointed much to her boyfriends dismay.

“Yes, yes. Enjoy yourselves.” He scooted them off.

As the couple walked away he caught the young couple’s accusations and steadfast rebuttals. “I swear you turn into a drooling idiot when he’s around.” “What? I’m just being polite. He’s my teacher! “Right. If you say so. So embarrassing…”

Kurt decided to try to look for Kitty. After about 15 minutes of wading through scores of people both young and old, half of who were inebriated he finally gave up. He felt his stomach growl . It was just in time as he was near the buffet table. As he surveyed the table he caught site of what appeared to be “Bratwurst? Not hot dogs but actual… bratwurst?”

“How about that? “ Kurt peered over his shoulder, and standing there was one Betsy Braddock. “Logan is nowhere to be found. So, where is the other half of the dynamic duo, handsome?”

“ Logan? I haven’t a clue. I haven’t seen him since this morning at breakfast. And you, of course, look as delectable as ever Ms. Braddock. “ He couldn’t help but take her in. But as gorgeous as she was she couldn’t take the place of what he felt for Logan. No one could light the fires inside the way Logan had. His heart and body seemed to be set on that.

“Flatterer… That’s rare, you two are usually inseparable when beer is nearby.”

“Yes, well. Funny how things change.” Kurt took one of the bratwursts and placed it on the plate examining it before he took a bite. His face lit up. “It is the real thing.”

“You’re an odd one Mr. Wagner.” Betsy shook her head as she sipped at her Margarita.

Kurt smiled crookedly, “Well, it’s something from childhood I have sorely missed from Germany since I moved here to the states. I have tried some concoction of it here but to no avail.”

“I guess that’s why Logan told Hank about it. “ Kurt noted the amused look on Betsy’s face and it made him uneasy.

“That was… rather thoughtful of him.” Kurt said avoiding Betsy’s gaze as he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

“Quite.” She smiled hugely. “So, you two had a falling out, huh?”

“How did you…? You didn’t.”

“Of course not, Kurt. I wouldn’t poke around in your brain, at least not intentionally.”

“So… you know about us?”

“I think most of the X-Men have at least had their suspicions, chum. Besides, one day you just stopped flirting with me and were spending a lot more time with Logan than usual. Well, I don’t think you completely stopped as I don’t think that is possible with you . But, I was able to read between the lines.”

“I see.” Kurt flushed.

“Relax, Kurt. I don’t gray easily.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just been… difficult.”

“Why don’t you go talk to him?” She said sympathetically.

“Because, Betsy, it is more complicated than all that.”

“Only because you make it that way. That’s part of the madness of X-Men.”

“…”

“And he was looking bloody miserable a little while ago but he was holding up an admirable front.” She walked over to him and adjusted his shirt collar, kissed his cheek and said. “Go on.”

“Now who’s the incorrigible flirt?” Kurt responded with a smile.

“I just detest needless suffering.” She winked.

^^^

Kurt wished he could say he just ran in search of Logan after that but it wasn’t like that at all. More like he wandered the grounds in misery until he had stumbled upon him and hadn’t really much choice in the matter.

He was walking along the perimeter of the mansion, tracing his fingers along the exterior, noting the sky when he smacked right into Logan chest against chest. “Oh, excuse me—Logan?”

Logan tipped his hat, “The one and only, Elf.” Kurt cringed at the all too common address but there didn’t seem to be any bitterness in his voice. He wasn’t sure if that relieved him or worried him even more. If Logan was unmoved than perhaps he had moved on? Or perhaps it was an act as Betsy had said. Which did he want it to be?

He was suddenly aware of how close Logan’s face was to his own, he was helplessly drawn to his mouth, so moist and inviting.

“Well, are you gonna let me go?” The older man leaned back against the wall with a sly smile.

“… Huh?” Kurt thought he should close his mouth once he got it to work properly. Logan was having fun with him now he had to be. The heat and desire must be coming off him in waves if Logan’s legendary senses were as superior as he boasted.

“Are you alright, bub? You don’t look so hot, or maybe you are…” Yes, he was playing all right. Kurt tried to look away from that piercing gaze but found himself unable to. He wanted to kiss that smug look off his face.

“Yes. Perfectly fine.” Kurt responded but there was a waver in his voice that betrayed his words. Kurt noted that he somehow had Logan pinned to the brick wall. It must have happened when they collided. As he shifted to pull away he felt his cock swell and brush against Logan’s groin. He stifled a moan.

Kurt looked at his friend, really looked at him and admired his form for the dozenth time that day, he reveled in his solidness and closeness. There was so much to be said but what came out was simply, “Logan…”

“SQUUEEE!!!!”

Kurt pushed himself away from Logan quickly as a group of screaming kids ran towards him and Logan. Some of the staff had brought their children and it seemed one of the things they loved to do is seek out Kurt Wagner whenever they were able to visit the school and ask a myriad of questions about his tail. They loved that he would do tricks for them from his circus days. He became a quick favorite among them. “Mr. Wagner, Mr. Wagner! Wont you juggle for us?!”

He was tackled to the ground by a pink-skinned male child of about five. He had a tail too but not prehensile like Kurt’s much to the boy’s dismay. “I have tail too and I’m going to be an X-Man one day!” He yelled, giggling with glee.

“Jeremy! You get up off of poor Professor Wagner. Let the man relax and enjoy himself.”

Kurt looked over at Logan who looked like he was about to keel over and laugh himself to death. The young German was feeling a bit humbled to say the least.

“That’s quite alright, David. I’m still in peak form… I think.” Kurt made a show of groaning for the child’s benefit. “Wow, Jeremy.” He “struggled” to lift him off, “You are getting **big**. You’ll be leading the X-Men in no time!”

“See, dad?!” Kurt looked over at the father, who nodded his approval.

“Won’t you juggle for us?” A little girl clapped and squealed. Kurt smiled at her enthusiasm.

“Well yes, I’d love to.” The children cheered. “But I need something to juggle…” Kurt looked around and caught site of Logan holding up his empty six-pack.

“All yours, Wagner.” Logan said as he walked over and handed him the bottles.

“Thank you…” Kurt said barely audible.

“Don’t mention it.”

“Now. All I need is an assistant.”

The children raised their hands. “Me! Me! Me!”

“That’s very helpful of you but I need a grown-up. “ He looked to the parents but they seemed to have drifted away, they were too far away to hear his inquiry.

Kurt looked to the only adult left nearby, Logan, who was crossing his arms and looking to the sky in feigned ignorance.

“Logan, would you care to assist me?” Kurt said contritely.

“I’m not sure if I’m up to the task. Circus showmanship isn’t my area of expertise…”

Kurt looked like he wanted to throttle him but set it aside for the sake of the children and put on his most polite voice. “Logan. Please. Will you help me?” Kurt was certain that Logan got enjoyment out of seeing him beg.

Logan sighed pointedly, “Well, I guess I can give it a shot.”

“Thank you. All you have to do is one by one throw me one of the bottles. I’ll do the rest.” He said as he walked over to Logan and handed him back the bottles.

“Oh, I think I can manage that Mr. Incredible.” Logan retorted, harping on his performer name from his circus days.

Kurt raised his eyebrow. “Yes. I’m truly indebted.”

“You can always make it up to me later.” Logan whispered causing Kurt to blush and give Logan a scolding look. The feral mutant snorted.

“Greetings ladies and gentleman, Xavier’s is truly honored to have such a wonderful crowd as you. I hope you enjoy the show. Logan, first bottle please. “

The children awed as Kurt didn’t even open his hands as he called for the bottle, they feared he would be hit with it until the blue mutant caught it just in time, narrowly missing his skull and tossed it to his other hand, then another bottle was tossed as soon as the other left his hand. Kurt had barely looked at Logan the whole time as he made his way through the six pack. Tossing each bottle one after the other. The children marveled at his skill. Kurt had started with a simple ring with his juggle, tossing all six bottles around and around, he decided to shake things a bit by changing his method. He separated the bottles - three in each hand and tossed them straight up without breaking his rhythm, they fell down toward his hand and he continued to juggle each set of bottles tossing them up and down. A couple of minutes had passed before he was tossing them every which way, he even juggled behind his back. He looked over at Logan, but only briefly, he had such a look of affection and admiration on his face it was hard to break away from it. He felt his heart beat faster. Here he and Logan were, still a team, amazingly after everything. His throat became thick, he shook it out of his mind, careful not to mess up his performance.

Kurt decided his tail was to enter the picture and the children went wild with applause. He tossed the bottles between hands and tail and built up a steady rhythm. Kurt had really begun to enjoy himself. Almost 10 minutes had passed before Kurt decided it was time for the finale, but not before Logan decided on another idea.

“Toss em’ here, you ham!”

“Logan?” Kurt mouthed as if Logan said the craziest thing in the world.

Logan rolled his eyes and unsheathed his claws, holding them up. Kurt didn’t know what Logan was up to but he decided not to argue as he tossed each bottle towards Logan. Logan was able to catch each bottle on each one of his claws. The children clapped, cheering and laughing with joy.

The kids ran over to Kurt showering him with praise. Kurt looked over at Logan who simply smiled and nodded. He looked down at the children so grateful for their acceptance. It was times like these he felt truly hopeful about the world. He felt the need to go to Logan. When he looked up from the children he found that he had gone. Kurt frowned. He already missed Logan’s presence greatly.

^^^

Kurt did not see Logan for the rest of the day and evening. He wondered where he had gone as he was not in his room when he went looking for him. Perhaps he took a nighttime ride which he did on occasion. Kurt would sometimes accompany him. He missed it. He went to his bedroom and got undressed and washed up in its small bathroom. He felt hot and flushed from the day’s activities and Logan no doubt. The cool water was soothing to his skin. He stretched his body before slipping into his bed. He lay there for several moments thinking about Logan’s body, his smile, his eyes and his laugh. He wanted to feel his arms around him right now, cradling him from the dangers in waiting. He wanted to hold Logan too and protect him in return. Little did he know he’d feel that even more acutely when he woke up.

^^^

Kurt was sitting in the kitchen at the table drinking coffee, his appearance was slightly disheveled. His first class didn’t start until 3:00 that day so he was able to sleep in a bit. He still felt exhausted, though, as he was up half the night before finally he was able to fall asleep. Kitty entered the room somewhat concerned. “Kurt, have you seen Logan?”

“No. I’m afraid I haven’t. I looked for him at his room last night… to chat, but he wasn’t there.” Kitty paled a bit.

Kurt didn’t miss the worry in Kitty’s demeanor. “Is anything wrong?”

“Well, I’m not sure… Scott reported that Logan had missed his morning class.”

“He… what?” Kurt’s heart skipped a beat.

“I know he has a tendency to go away for days at a time but not when class is in session. He was working on a specific exercise for today. There’s no way he would just skip it like that.” Kitty said in dismay.

“Mein Gott.” Kurt’s heart now plummeted in his chest. He had a bad feeling about this, there was a spike in human on mutant violence these days not to mention the X-Men’s regular enemies, despite Logan’s healing factor he could still be hurt… or even killed under the right (or wrong) circumstances or opponent.

“Kurt?” Kitty looked at him, fear in her eyes. He got up and went over to Kitty and held her. “It will be ok, Katzchen…” He petted her hair; the hug was to comfort himself as well as her. Extreme worry marred Kurt’s brow.

“Forge!!!” Kitty and Kurt’s head shot up to the sound of Hanks alarmed voice.

“Sounds like it’s coming from the main entrance.” Kurt said to Kitty, they both got into battle mode to prepare themselves for an attack. Kurt ported both of them to Hanks side. Kurt had guessed correctly, once he materialized there was Hank kneeling on the floor next to… Logan.

“Logan!” Kurt cried out as he practically threw himself down next to the prone body of his friend and sometimes lover. “What has happened?!”

“I’m not sure; I was sitting in the living room reading when he just collapsed through the door without a sound!”

Forge had swiftly entered the room. “What’s all the fuss? Good Lord!” He had got site of Logan on the floor and his near catatonic state.

“He’s soaked to the bone!” Kitty said as she touched Logan.

“Is he…?” Kurt uttered lowly but couldn’t bring himself to use the word dead.

“We better get him to the med lab, Hank.” Forge said with some anxiety.

When Hank wouldn’t answer Kurt became angry. “Dammit, Hank. Answer me, is he--?!”

“I have his pulse. Kurt—“ Hank looked up to Kurt but found he was already in transition.

“Way ahead you, Mein Freund!” and with that Kurt teleported down to the med lab, Hank, Kitty and Forge were close behind as they entered the lab moments later. Kurt was cradling him to his chest like a child, holding him tightly before he gently set him down on the bed. He brushed his hair not caring who would see. “You’ll be alright, Logan. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Um, Kurt. I know you’re concerned for Logan but I need room to work, its vital in his condition that there are no delays.” Hank put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a knowing look. Kurt simply nodded in understanding and moved away from the bed.

He was barely able to recall what had happened in the next hour as he felt as if he was in some strange dream state, he was almost sure he had drifted out of his body. He morbidly watched as both Hank and Forge were going back and forth in the room, checking life-signs, gathering instruments – doing whatever they could for their friend. But would it be enough? And what about him? Shouldn’t he be doing something? But what? He felt so helpless. He looked over at Logan and his face; it looked so peaceful despite what was happening. He wanted go to him. But he knew he couldn’t now. He could only wait. He was a wreck and Kitty didn't look much better. They would occasionally glance at each other with tired eyes. 

“Kurt?”

“Hank!” Kurt said in relief “Logan. Is he going to be ok?”

“He’s been stabilized. It was a bit rocky there for a bit but he should come through ok… It’s just a matter of when.”

“When?” Kurt knew all too well what Hank was saying as Kurt remembered his own battle when he was in a coma on Muir Island when he was gravely injured in the Morlock tunnels. He’d been out for months. When he awoke Kitty told him that according to Moira it could have been years before he woke. Now he asked the Lord to grant his friend the same gift that he’d wake soon. 

“Yes, Kurt. I’m sorry.”

“What happened to him?” Kurt felt a lump form in his throat.

“We’re not sure, but one thing, it appears that he was drowned."

"Drowned?"

"Well that's part of it, but we suspect there may be more to it." 

"What do you mean?"

"There were markings on his wrists and ankles as well as stab wounds."

"What happened to his healing factor?"

"We are uncertain, he was under water for a long time, so that took its toll but we can't rule out some type of weaponry. 

Kurt swallowed and tightened his fist. “I would have been with him last night if it wasn’t for—“

“Hank set a hand on Kurt's fist in an effort to sooth his friend and said. “Kurt. Don’t blame yourself. This wasn’t your fault.”

“Right…” Kurt said bitterly.

“We’ll do everything we can.” Hank looked at him for a minute before he patted his shoulder and walked away.

“Not my fault.” For all the good that does me, Kurt thought. Seeing Logan lifeless on that bed, once again made him realize how short existence is and how as an X-Man especially, he should have grabbed those moments with Logan when he could. In retrospect the past two days seemed silly to him now. How trite was it? How human was it to suddenly realize what we have until it was lost? If Logan awoke… **when** he awoke, he would not screw it up again. Kurt hoped that god would grant him another chance. Because surly life wasn’t much of a life without his friend, his lover, his “partner in crime.” As Logan would say.

^^^


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Kurt waits for Logan to recover from his injuries he ponders his feelings for his friend, and recalls different moments of Logan's devotion through his own recollections and that of his friends. Logan battles desperately to return to his friends, and most especially Kurt.

  


^^^

“Kurt?”

As he heard a familiar voice calling his name Kurt vaguely wondered why his back and rear were so sore and why he was so extremely thirsty. He shifted to turn to his side when he felt himself lose his balance slightly. “Was???”

“Kurt? Are you all right?” He heard the voice again and the hands of the owner of said voice, he assumed, helping to steady himself back in his… chair? He saw as his eyes snapped open.

“Hank?” He yawned and rubbed his eyes. “It’s you.” It all came rushing back, everything that had happened yesterday, every miserable, excruciating detail. He felt the chasm open in his soul and wanted to fight it. He had a desperate urge to sink back into oblivion. “I must have fallen asleep.” He croaked.

“Easy, Kurt.” Kurt looked over at Logan, who was covered in tubes and patches as well as an oxygen mask. He frowned. He knew Logan was harder to injure than most X-Men but when it happened it was an awful sight to see. It was hard to see someone who is such a constant strength so vulnerable. “Just the other day during the cookout I was thinking about human and mutant children coexisting at Xavier’s and what an inspiration it was, and that there is a world that exists where I – we don’t scare them half to death. But this brings it back to reality doesn’t it?”

“I think it only makes our good times together all the more important.” Hank studied his friend intently and noted how pale he looked. The feline mutant reached out and touched Kurt’s shoulder and smiled sympathetically. “Kurt, please, take a break. You’ve been here almost twenty-four hours. I or one of the other medical staff will let you know if there is any change.”

Kurt stiffened visibly, ready to put up a fight. He looked directly into Hanks eyes. “You’re not keeping me out of this, Hank.”

“I wouldn’t try. I think regular visits will help him. But you have to leave sometimes,” he reasoned, “You won’t do any good to him exhausted.”

“You think he can hear me?”

“It’s possible I think, on some level. In other cases the presence of loved ones has shown a marked change in recovery even if the person is not conscious.”

“And others?”

“Do you really want to know about those cases, Kurt?”

“No. No I don’t.” He sighed and looked over at Logan and reached out to stroke his hand, but carefully as to not make a big show of it. As much as he avowed earlier on how much he didn’t care what others thought, Logan may not be ready to reveal the intimate change in their relationship. He fought the urge to stroke Logan’s hair and touch whatever part of his face wasn’t covered.

Hank watched as Kurt stared at Logan longingly. “You know, Kurt, I’m the only one here. You don’t have to be so guarded about Logan.”

Kurt turned around and looked at Hank questioningly, eyebrow raised. “So, you know... Betsy said some of you figured it out.”

“Yes. I’m really sorry, Kurt.” Kurt smiled at Hank, appreciation welling inside him to have such an accepting friend. He went back to look at Logan.

“I don’t mind that you know, it’s a relief actually. But, please don’t tell anyone. I may be ok with it but I’m not sure it’s fair to take that decision from Logan.”

“I wouldn’t even if you hadn’t requested it. I’m not into gossip, Kurt.”

“No, I suppose you aren’t.” Kurt thought back on the whole media blitz Scott’s latest X-Team was involved in and Hanks dealings with it. Then his thoughts went back to his lover. He squeezed Logan’s hand and stroked Logan’s hair.

“You love him, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question.

Kurt looked up at Hank and saw understanding in his eyes. He just stared at the doctor not sure what to say. He wasn’t prepared for the question. “Of course… I love him. He’s my friend.”

Hank smiled; there was also a hint of teasing in his tone. “Of course.”

Kurt was struggling between mirth and annoyance as his mouth twitched at his friend’s amusement. “Don’t laugh at me, Henry .”

Hank put his hands up. “I wouldn’t.”

Kurt looked back at Logan wondering again, for the dozenth time, what he could do to make him wake up and what he’d do when he finally did.

“Ok, now that your friend Hank has spoken its time for Dr. McCoy to give some orders. Go. Eat.”

“Hank…” Kurt began to protest.

Hank rolled up his sleeves. “Kitty was only slightly easier to remove.”

Kurt snorted at that and Hank laughed in return. “All right.” The German mutant sighed and shook his head. “I’m going.” He got up out of his chair, stretching his limbs before bending down and placing a kiss on Logan’s forehead.

“Kurt, Logan is my friend too and I’ll do the best I can.”

“I know you will, Hank.”

As Kurt walked towards the door the Beast spoke again. “And Kurt?”

Kurt turned around and looked at Hank. “Ja?”

“We… don’t know for sure if these were humans, that it was a hate crime.”

Kurt nodded slightly, appearing only a bit moved. “Hate from humans or hate from our own? Does it matter? It’s still all hate in the end, isn’t it? Hate that can… kill?” And Kurt walked away leaving Hank to ponder those words.

^^^

Kurt was down in the kitchen, drumming his fingers on the table, sandwich barely touched. He stopped keeping track of the time and didn’t know how long he’d been down there; he barely registered Kitty entering.

“Kurt? How is Logan?” Kitty asked, failing to hide the urgency in her voice.

“No change.” Kurt swallowed a piece of his sandwich without enthusiasm. Everything tasted bitter to him and became leaden in his stomach. The blue mutant suddenly found himself feeling uncomfortable as he noticed Kitty’s measuring gaze. “Is there something else you wished to ask me?” He smiled.

She opened her mouth then closed it. “I… nothing.” She made her way to the fridge and opened the door, pulling out a bottle of water. Then the young brunette woman leaned against the counter and absently picked at the label of her beverage.

Kurt watched, intrigued, as he studied her face and body language. This “nothing” seemed like something, he thought. She almost looked… angry?

“All right…” Kitty spoke again, here it comes. Kurt braced himself for what he suspected was to come. “You and Logan, its more than just friendship isn’t it?”

“I… Ja. Or I’m hoping it is when he awakens.” He felt he couldn’t lie to her, or any of his friends now. And honestly, he didn’t want to. Besides, it went well with Hank. Perhaps he should take that as a sign.

Kitty looked at him with big brown eyes. “Hoping?”

“Logan and I had a bit of a falling out before his attack.”

“Oh.” She hastily removed the cap from her bottle and turned away from him briefly, taking a sip of her water.

Kurt frowned, feeling the fear of rejection taking hold of his being, the food he had eaten was in danger of coming back up his stomach. He chose to remain calm. “Does the idea of Logan and I bother you so much, Katzchen?”

Kitty looked up, shocked and even angrier. “What? No. Of course not. You should know me better than that. I’m hurt you didn’t tell me. That you didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”

“Ah. I see.”

Kitty sighed. “Is that all you have to say?”

“I’m not sure what to say. I didn’t know my romantic life was so important to you.”

Kitty rolled her eyes. “But this is you and Logan. You are two of my closest friends. This is bigger than the usual fling. What? You think I’d have a problem with you and Logan being gay?”

“Well, do you? Also, I think the correct term for Logan would be bisexual, me… I’m not sure what I am. I just know that I care about Logan…. a lot. In the more than a friend sense.”

“No. I don’t.” Kitty said, face stern.

Kurt looked at her and it melted. “Ok, I admit I was a bit shocked at first but the more I thought about it the more it made sense. Also, you aren’t the only one who has ever wondered about their sexuality.” Kitty said the last with some resentment.

Kurt smiled. “I’d imagine not.” Kurt decided not to push on the subject, for now, as she seemed to be struggling with something. “I’m still angry with you Kurt, for not telling me, but I’m putting it aside because I think this is the last thing you need right now. Or I need for that matter.”

“All right.” Kurt said, feeling relieved and a little guilty to make Kitty feel so untrustworthy. She was one the most important people in his life.

Kitty sat down. “Kurt? I’m really scared for Logan.”

“I am too, Kitty.”

A few minutes had passed in total silence, both pondering what had been said, what hadn’t been said and their injured friend. Kitty finally reached for an apple on the table, she rolled it back and forth between her hands, eyeing it with little enthusiasm. “So, when did you two get together officially?”

“Hm?” Kurt wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to encourage what was sure to be a string of questions about his and Logan’s “love life,” but he felt it would be helpful to both him and Kitty and dealing with Logan’s current state. “On New Year’s.”

Kitty’s demeanor visibly brightened, apparently relieved to be focusing on a happier subject. “Aha. I remember how mopey you were that day. But the next day you had, as cliché as its sounds, a spring in your step.” Kitty smiled conspiratorially.

Kurt blushed and chuckled at Kitty’s boldness. “ I thought perhaps you met someone at the bar, a woman, never thought in a million years it was Logan.”

“It was a surprise to me as well. “ Kurt wondered at Kitty’s perception of him, or previous perception and just how shocking his involvement with Logan was to her. He never really questioned his sexuality much, he had found a few men attractive and he even thought about sex between males but he never thought on it all that seriously. They were mostly casual musings.

“So... the real question is can he compete with Errol?”

Kurt had a shocked expression that caused Kitty to snort and choke on her apple. “That… was strictly admiration and an appreciation of skill.”

Kitty snickered. “Sure.”

Kurt decided not to reveal that one dream he had about Errol in his late teens and its contents. Refusing to be baited, he rolled his eyes. “I think Logan has a chance of competing.” The blue mutant said sarcastically.

“Now that I know… I’ll have no choice but to tease you mercilessly.” Kitty smiled in unnerving satisfaction.

“Great.” Kurt clapped his hand over his eyes.

“It serves you right, all the times you and Logan butted in on my relationships. Sweet revenge.” She said, taking another bite of her apple, this time with more gusto.

Kurt just groaned. He was starting to regret being so forthcoming.

^^^

The night was beautiful, Logan thought, more beautiful than he had ever seen it but something about it was unusual and otherworldly. It was earth but not quite earth, everything was as it should be but not quite as it should be because certainly Logan shouldn’t look down at himself to find... a grey... furry... paw?  Logan thought he must surely be cracking up, _Old man, you **are** losing it_. Logan thought of his usual pale weather worn hand – that deadly hand that housed the claws of the strongest metal on earth. This paw can be deadly too but he doubted its usual owner gave much thought to the blood on it. Maybe he will stay this way and live like an animal without a care in the world. It wouldn’t be the first time he left for a life in the woods crawling on all fours with the rest of the beasts. Yet, something wasn’t quite right, his senses were dull, the smells and noises seemed more like echoes, not the real thing. Just as the Canadian had thought he finally snapped he for the second time he started to think that perhaps he had fallen asleep, that's it, he was back at Xaviers safe and warm in his bed. It was just a dream.

^^^

Kitty was telling Kurt, upon his request, when she realized Kurt and Logan’s romantic involvement with each other started but her first realizations went farther back than he expected.

“Well, Logan always did have a fierce protectiveness about you, but I noticed how in the last couple of years it became even stronger.” Kurt thought about Kitty’s words, indeed Logan had always been protective of those he cares for and could be very passionate about it but Kitty made it seem like he was exceptional in that department. His thoughts went to Jean and Mariko and the feral passion he’d display at the sight of them hurt or mistreated and it caused Kurt to think of some more recent incidents involving himself, Kurt swallowed. That type of intensity both comforted and intimidated him a bit. He didn’t realize how long Logan thought about him this way. He wasn’t often used to others carrying a torch for him. He was used to falling in and out of romantic relations rather quickly.

“So… you think he was **jealous** of Christine?” Kurt had a hard time fathoming this.

“Well, it sure sounded that way to me. Of course I didn’t tell Logan this. The guy can be unpleasant when you try to confront him on anything personal. You should have heard how he tore her down when he and I would hang out after a mission Scott had given us.”

“Maybe he was angry on Ororo’s behalf? You know how he can get.” Kurt chuckled half-heartedly; he knew he was grasping at straws again, perhaps out of fear.

Kitty looked bemused as she was lost in thought. She put her pointer finger to her chin. “But why would he do that? He was dating her. You’d think he would have been all too happy about Christine.”

Then Kitty gave him a sharp look and raised her eyebrow, he could almost read what she was thinking. “What?” Kurt asked, feigning ignorance.

“I didn’t say anything.” Now it was Kitty's turn to pretend ignorance.

“ You… you don’t think Logan was trying to sabotage me and Ororo do you?”

“Who knows why Logan acts the way he does? He can be really hard to figure out. But you have to admit it was rather… odd. “

Kurt didn’t respond but it set off another chain of thoughts.

“I felt bad for Christine, though. Logan was pretty harsh on her. That nickname.” Kitty wanted to slap her hand over her mouth, she never meant to reveal Logan’s name for her.

“…What?”

Kitty rolled her eyes in sympathy. “He called her 'Nurse Honey'.”

Kurt sighed, now he didn’t know whether he should be flattered or angry. He did remember Logan acting a bit combative with Christine. Christine and he were having a conversation during their hike in the Winzeldorf Mountains in an effort to find clues about his past and Logan came to “check” on him. It was rather odd he noted. Logan never had a tendency to barge in on his relationships in the past. Sure he never wanted a serious relationship with her and would have ended it but it should be his choice.

“Well,” Kitty looked at her watch. “I want to get down to visit Logan. Hank said that this time would be ok.” Hank was strict and set up certain times for people to come and visit Logan. He had a slot later that evening. He felt relieved to know that she would be watching over him now as he felt such a fierce surge of emotions towards Logan.

Kurt thought about all that had been discussed. His talk with Kitty led to some brutal truths. Was it some eternal defense mechanism that kept his love relationships doomed to failure? Did he sabotage them subconsciously? Did he search for unrequited or doomed love? He remembered his break up with Amanda, sure her brushing off his concerns about his place in the X-Men and his conflict of faith hurt but what he came back with was far more hurtful. He made no attempts to patch things up with her even when she had. He ignored her calls. It’s as if he wanted to completely cut her out of his life. He wondered just how much responsibility he should claim about her dishonesty. Not that he thought he deserved to be lied to but he wondered if he set himself up for it. It wouldn't be the last time lies would be the downfall of one of his relationships.

Then there was Meggan who was unavailable, a woman who was already in a relationship and whose heart belonged to another. Then came the alien amazon Cerise who had no knowledge of human customs and emotions, well, at least that’s what she pretended before it was revealed she was not who she claimed to be. He thought of his interludes with Ororo and Rachel and how they seemed to move on so quickly. It hurt him on some level - a deep dark part of him felt like he was never a serious contender, but was relegated to “safe” by default. Not that he could blame them as he wasn’t completely forthcoming himself. He was taken in and raised by a loving family but perhaps his abandonment and outward mutancy gave him more doubts than he realized. Maybe the reason Logan scared him was because much like Amanda, Logan knew Kurt very well before they got romantically involved. He would know how to hurt him like no other… and he could hurt him back. Their friendship could be ruined. Of course his friendship with Amanda wasn’t ruined but it was strained and it never went back to how things were before.

Kurt’s mind flashed back to his days as a child in the circus and some of Margali’s words “ _Someday you will find someone you can’t live without, that is worth the risk, worth the good and the bad._ ” He remembered not being very soothed by these words, a part of him felt it was simplistic and unrealistic. Thinking that it was just something mothers said through his teenaged perspective. She would say similar things when he was much younger and it was a lot more well received then. Ah, young hearts are so naive!

He was about sixteen when he started thinking about Amanda. He was in fact agonizing over her. He started developing feelings for her only months prior but he had a horrible lack of confidence. The circus was full of handsome males, normal looking men, older and better performers as Kurt was still a bit younger than her. He didn’t know how to talk to her about how he felt. It terrified him. Now Kurt fears his cowardice may have cost him yet again.

^^^

Logan felt so small, the thick forest expanse looked massive to his new form. His nostrils took in the rich smell of the earth. He came upon a river, the moon shining down on it causing it to gleam silver, he was now able to get a full picture of himself using the water as a mirror. He was a grey wolf. This must be a dream like he had thought. This was the form he’d sometimes use in his meditations, techniques he picked up during his time in Japan. He chose the form of the wolf because it had brought him back to a time he felt truly free. When he had no family to claim to and was taken in by a pack that accepted him as one of his own. And he wouldn’t have another pack again, or family, not for a long time, human or animal. That is until the X-Men came along and he formed the strongest bonds ever in his lifetime. Their faces flashed through his mind, ones of laughter and grief and… desire. Many faces which included Kitty, Ororo, Piotr… and Kurt. Kurt, that was a reason not to stay an animal, he felt an urgent need to get back to them. To **Kurt**. A deep part of him knew they were terribly worried right now and that they needed him, but why would they be worried? He was obviously in his bed right now, safe and dreaming.

^^^

Kurt had taken a short nap. It didn’t help as much as he would have liked. He looked over at the nightstand clock. In a few hours Kurt would be able to see Logan. His mind thought back to the morning after their night together - New Year’s Day. That holiday would always have a special meaning to him now.

_Kurt was in a deep sleep when he felt a strong hand stroking his back and hair, he smiled as the memories of the previous night filled his mind. He was giddy with excitement. He sighed in contentment as Logan continued to stroke his body. “Mmm, Logan, you will spoil me.” He purred throatily._

_Kurt was sure Logan had a wicked smile on his face right now. “You’re on to my plan. I’m nothing if not serious when I want something.”_

_Kurt’s heart beat a bit faster and tingling warmth spread through his whole body at those words. He swallowed partly in nervousness and partly in desire. “And what do you want exactly?” Logan continued to stroke Kurt’s body as he snuggled the young German from behind and gave him a kiss to his cheek, brushing his curls aside._

_“Isn’t it obvious?” Logan chuckled. The older man then began stroking the base of his tail, sticking the prehensile tip in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip of the spade. The gesture released a loud gasp from Kurt._

_“Ohhh… that’s—“ Kurt clutched his pillow in a fist._

_“Just what I thought.” Logan said with amusement._

_Kurt’s cock had swelled considerably to the treatment of his tail. It began to ache so he started to move his hand to relieve himself but Logan caught it and pinned it back wear it was. “Nah, ah, ah. That’s my job.”_

_“You… I – FIEND.” Kurt said as Logan began sucking on his tail tip again._

_Logan chuckled. “So you like reminding me, Kurt. Actually, it’s a bit of a turn on hearing you say it in the bedroom finally.” Logan said the last part in a teasing tone of voice. “I’ll show you just how much of fiend I am.”_

_Again, those words and that voice caused Kurt’s heart to pulsate as it did just a moment ago. He wondered what he had gotten himself into with this man, who had an insatiable appetite for the greatest of earthly pleasures, not that he was complaining at the moment. He felt Logan fumble with something behind him as he continued to massage his tail with his tongue._

_Logan reached for the lube on the bed still left over from last night and slicked his hand. He lifted Kurt’s leg and reached between them for Kurt’s desired goal - his erect penis that was now lying stiff against his belly._

_Kurt simply let out a moan as he felt Logan’s strong hand touch his sensitive flesh._

_Logan ran his lube coated hand along Kurt’s cock and gripped it at the base, he slowly rubbed his hand up and down the shaft and played with the tip, Kurt was writhing on the bed in anticipation, and surely Logan must realize how frustrating this was._

_Obscene sucking noises echoed in the room only causing to increase Kurt’s arousal. The young mutant let out a pleading whimper and at this Logan decided to show some mercy and began to pick up the pace of his strokes on Kurt’s erection. Logan’s fist was like a coil around his cock as it slipped and slid repeatedly up and down his entire length with Logan sucking on his tail.The teasing was over. “Oh, Logan. Yes.”_

_Logan removed Kurt’s tail from his mouth. “Yes.” Logan echoed Kurt’s words, his administrations to Kurt’s cock became swifter and more focused. “You love it. Tell me you love it.”_

_“Yes – Ohh- I love it!” And with that all of Kurt’s lust and desire that had built up in his heated flesh had reached its boiling point letting loose a cry that to his ears almost sounded unfamiliar in its intensity. He gripped the sheets as his seed had spilt forth onto the mattress. The young man was now panting heavily, mind in a blissful haze. Once again he felt Logan’s strong hand on his back, stroking it, as he heard his lover let out a little sigh._

_Kurt was then suddenly ceased with an emotion so intense he turned around and pinned Logan to the mattress and pressed his lips to the other mans. He nudged his tongue against Logan’s lips demanding entrance. The blue mutant felt a thorough exploration of Logan’s mouth was in order as he stroked his tongue in every part of his mouth before he sucked on the plump, pink bottom lip._

_“You...” A kiss. “Are…” Another kiss. “A…” And a nip to the bottom lip to punctuate. “Fiend.”_

_“Mmm… you bet, darlin.’” Logan said quietly as Kurt began to kiss his neck, shoulders and chest._

_Logan smiled and had closed his eyes briefly. Kurt looked down into Logan’s face, admiring the strong rugged features and how handsome he looked when he was content. Logan had opened his eyes again and Kurt couldn’t help but be drawn to them - so sparkling and blue and full of peace. It was rare to see these days. Kurt thought about Logan’s words the other night, an indication that perhaps this wouldn’t be just a one night stand but something more. That thought thrilled him, and scared him a little too._

_Logan looked back up at him, eyes searching, smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. “Something on your mind?”_

_“Logan, you said last night… that…” Kurt blinked and looked away briefly before looking back into his eyes._

_“Yes? Out with it, Elf.” Logan prodded gently._

_“That this would be the start of something. What? A relationship?” Kurt noted that Logan’s body language changed, it was suddenly less free and more guarded and the strokes on his back halted briefly._

_“If you want it to be.”_

_Kurt smiled brilliantly. “I... I’d like to try.” He said and he truly meant it. He felt such joy in that moment. He caught the look of relief on Logan’s face. Did he fear rejection?_

_“Then it’s a plan.” Logan returned the smile with equal joy. He put his hand on the back of Kurt’s head and pulled him down for a long kiss._

As Kurt came back to the present, he wished he didn't have to. He wished he could stay in memories and fantasy because the reality was too bitter. Because a reality without Logan wasn't a reality he thought he could bare. "Oh, Logan... There is so much I need to tell you."

^^^

If this was a dream Logan thought, then why wasn’t he waking up? He suddenly began to feel uneasy as if he was being watched and trailed so he picked up his pace and began to run along the waters edge. After he ran a good distance he began to feel thirsty so he leaned his snout down into the water and began to drink, his head shot up as he suddenly got that feeling again but more intense. He turned around and saw a man dressed in a black uniform and a black baseball cap. He let out a growl at the man.

”So, you’re taking a rest mongrel? You know better than to let your guard down.” The man sneered at him with disgust and raised a strange weapon and pointed it at him, discharging an electric jolt straight to his system; he doubled back in pain and fell into the river. There was a big current and it was in danger of trapping him under as it carried him down along the river. He howled in fear. Logan hated the feeling of helplessness and he always had a fear of drowning with his metal skeleton but without it now it doesn’t seem any less terrifying.

He made desperate gasps of breath, but as he did water slipped into his mouth causing him to choke and sputter. The salty water burned his throat. This was it, Logan thought. He was going to die. Despite the rational part of his mind saying it was nonsense.

^^^

Kurt could no longer stand being holed up in the mansion for another few hours before he could see Logan. He was driving along the route Logan usually took for one of his rides, sometimes he would go with him. Kurt felt a lump form in his throat as his mind took him back to those precious few days, to the crisp sweet smell of the air, it smelled much as it did now. Kurt inhaled wishing he could smell the rich spicy smell of Logan’s cologne too as he clutched him tight from behind, nose nuzzled into the crook of his shoulder as they cruised along the open road.

He was hoping to find some clues at one of the convenience shops Logan, and occasionally himself, would stop at. It wouldn’t be much longer before Kurt came to Sal’s Convenience and Tabacco on the asphalt. He pulled into the open dirt parking lot and parked farther away from the rest of the cars. He surveyed the place for any signs of anything out of the ordinary and when he found nothing suspicious he sat and waited.

It was close to twenty minutes before a large black van entered the lot, it seemed to hover briefly as if scoping out the area before it finally decided to park. The windows were tinted so he couldn’t make out the man, but something about the vehicle seemed off to him, a large black van wasn’t suspicious in and of itself but something about it played on his intuition, he felt that this van would have the answers to his friend’s state. Finally after several minutes the driver came out of his vehicle. Kurt noticed his attire – black jumpsuit and a baseball cap and shades despite it being the evening. He had short light brown hair. He appeared very fit and his body language suggested training, some form of intelligence? He walked slowly, looking around the area as if searching for something, perhaps evidence that was possibly left behind? The man had looked his way briefly, but luckily his windows were tinted too. Kurt looked on as the man began to walk around the back of the store and after a few minutes walked back in front and decided to go inside the store.

Kurt took this as an opportunity to check out the man’s vehicle for any clues. As he approached the car he took out a small pad and wrote down the license plate. After, he walked around the car, as he came to the windshield he saw a strange decal on the window, one that looked familiar. Kurt gasped; he saw this symbol in Fury’s files of local secret anti-mutant groups. Kurt turned around as he heard the sound of a man whistling. Kurt turned around swiftly and took a battle-ready stance.

“Damn… aren’t you one freaky mother. You ain’t human, you’re a monster.”

Kurt noted the irony of the man’s statement. “From where I’m standing you’re the monster.” Kurt said lowly, a dangerous tone edging his words.

“Heh. Yeah. Keep telling yourself that. You’re the reason I do this every day, so you sick freaks can’t hurt decent normal humans.”

Kurt saw that the man had some strange gun he couldn’t recognize strapped to his leg.

“Sir, I have no intention of harming innocent people. I-"

“Hey... those are some fangs." The man took a wary step backward. "I wont let you suck the blood of my children, Demon!"

“That’s not my purpose, calm yourself, sir.”

“I’ll take care of you, me and the others. We'll do a better job this time than we did with that other animal, he almost got me with his claws."

Kurt’s hackles raised and something inside him snapped. “What did you do to him, scum?!” It was one thing to insult or harm him but when it came to Logan, suddenly he had no more desire to try to reason with the man. Kurt had a sudden need to avenge, what Kurt came to realize – is the man he loves. Kurt saw the villain trying to pull out his gun but his reflexes were quicker as he grabbed it with his tail and disarmed him. The man stepped back in fear.

“Not so tough now are we?” He then saw the man begin to reach for a knife but not before Kurt delivered a swift kick to his hand causing the knife to fall away to somewhere unknown, then he placed a hard punch to the man’s face causing him to fall to the ground. The man held his bloody nose and looked up at him in fear.

“Please, don’t kill me! I—“ And the man couldn’t finish his sentence as he took the man up by his collar and teleported them both away in a loud BAMF!

BAMF! “I won’t kill you.”

BAMF! “But I will leave you with a warning.”

Kurt teleported around with the man, hoping to scare him, he had to control his urge to beat the man senseless, a part of Kurt wanted to kill him but he knew that wasn’t his way, he swore never to take a life in vengeance but that didn’t mean he couldn’t terrorize the man a bit. Kurt teleported high above the ocean, all the while the man was pleading and shouting.

“Please, let me go!” The man begged.

“All right. I think I’ll leave you off here, just be happy I’m not dropping you anywhere with a strong current. You should be able to swim your way to safety. “

“Thank god.” The man let out a visible sigh of relief.

Kurt snarled bitterly at his words. “I’ve shown you mercy tonight, but know this; I may not be so merciful next time… as a demon needs to feed.” He said tauntingly as he made a gesture as if to bite him before Kurt dropped the man into the murky water below. Kurt smiled bitterly at the sound of the man’s scream and the huge splash that followed it.

^^^

Hank breathed a sigh of relief “Got it.” He said as he removed the strange chip from Logan’s shoulder. “I wonder if it’s an inhibitor of some sort.” He said as he examined it before dropping it onto the tray causing a slight clinking noise.

Forge grabbed the tray. “We’ll find out soon enough.”

“Kurt should be here soon, I’ll finally have something different to tell him. I really think this is the key, Forge. If what we suspect is true and this is an inhibitor chip, then Logan’s healing factor should kick in any moment. ”

“Hank!” Kurt entered the room swiftly, Hank noted his disheveled appearance.

“Kurt. I have some news, we believe we found the reason for the loss of Logan’s healing factor, an inhibitor chip. We were able to remove it.”

Hank thought he saw the beginnings of relieved tears in Kurt’s eyes. “Thank heavens! And I think I may know who put it there.” Kurt’s mood changed from that of relief to anger.

Hank looked at Kurt curiously. “You know? Who?"

Kurt put a hand on Hanks shoulder. “I’ll fill you and the rest of the X-Men in later. But, right now my place is by Logan’s side.” He sat down and grabbed Logan’s hand.

As Kurt looked at Logan’s face, he thought back to the times Logan had been there for him giving him strength, support and understanding.

He remembered when he had been psychically attacked by the Supreme Pontiff, a mysterious new enemy that had a particular interest in him. He had been out cold for quite a while, he didn’t remember much of that day when the X-Men found him curled up on the floor of the enemies base, except for when he woke up in Logan’s arms he felt so safe and cared for. It was as if Logan was ready to fight off the dark armies themselves to keep him safe. As a grown man, Kurt thought at times it was frustrating, but secretly, his care and devotion touched him deeply. When he woke from his trance the first thing he saw was Logan’s concerned eyes and his fierce stance as he looked down at him.

_As they left, Kurt had trouble walking, he was shaking so much from what the Supreme Pontiff had done to him. He felt frozen inside, he remembered never feeling so cold in his entire life. He almost tripped and stumbled to the ground but Logan had caught him by the arm and steadied him._

_Intense eyes looked into his "You're gonna be ok, Elf. I promise."_

Stacy had recalled to him how they found him later that week at his request and as usual she relayed the story in her usual bold honesty.

_“Damn, Logan was like a madman when he saw you lying on the floor. He wouldn’t let anyone touch you.”_

_She tried to do an imitation of Logan by making her voice sound gruff and manly and it ended up sounding cartoonish. “If you make things worse, they’ll have to carry you out." She made a snarling noise_

_Kurt chuckled. “Um, yes. Logan can be quite serious about his friends.”_

_“Huh…” Stacy said. “So, that grump has a soft side after all.” Stacy looked as if she had found out a big secret, most likely information to taunt Logan with._

_“There’s no one else you’d want in your corner, honestly.”_

Kurt was grateful that day but now he doesn’t think he ever fully appreciated what it meant at the time. He put Logan's hand to his cheek and looked at his companion pleadingly. He hoped that he could hear him and that his voice could guide him back to his side.

"Please, Logan. Wake up. Come back to us. Come back to... me."

^^^

As the current continued to drag Logan down the river he tried to get a look at his surroundings to see if he could find anything to grab hold of and he caught site of what looked like a large cat, Logan smiled inwardly, he looked like a Puma but with blue fur and gold glowing eyes that were unmistakable. The cat let out a growl and tapped his nose on the ground, he seemed to be trying to tell him something, Logan had an ability to understand animals at an almost telepathic level. And there it is! Logan caught sight of the large root sticking out of the bank and Logan grabbed onto it the best he could, it was low enough where he could scrabble on top of it.

He made his way halfway up the root before he slipped but he felt a bite to the scruff of his neck, Logan felt relief wash over him as the big cat pulled him to safety, ground firm underneath him. He lay on the river bank, soaked to the bone, cold and out of breath. He felt a mouth licking the top of his head and then his paw. Logan looked up, grateful whether it was a dream image or a hallucination he did not care, he just knew that now everything was going to be ok and the puzzle would soon be solved. The cat appeared to be standing guard. Logan suddenly was overcome with exhaustion and found himself slipping further and further away from consciousness.

^^^

“He’s waking up!” Hank exclaimed with hope as he checked the monitors.

“Logan…” Kurt sighed deeply and brokenly as the stress and heartache of the last couple of days came to a head. He grabbed his head as he felt relief wash over him. He swallowed and tried to gain composure, silently thanking the answerer to his prayers.

As Logan woke he was relieved to see his true body but then he was suddenly seized with a flash of fear as he felt the tubes in his arms. He had a healing factor, he was usually only ever covered in tubes when some nutcase was experimenting on him. He let out a snarl and pulled at them.

“Logan, please. It’s the X-men, your friends. You’re safe!”

Logan sighed in relief and joy at that familiar accented voice. His body acknowledged Kurt as a huge wave of warmth washed over him in response. He blinked as Kurt came into his vision and stared down at him with affection. He smiled as Kurt stroked his hair and face with his soft furred hand.

“You’re alive, Logan. You’re safe… and I’m here for you, for however long you want.” Kurt grabbed his hand and held it between his.

 _Life is beautiful,_ Logan thought.

^^^


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the wake of Logan’s injuries from an attack by anti-mutant extremists, Kurt and Logan reacquaint themselves with each other and realize what’s important.

  


^^^

Logan lay awake in his bed. The mansion was unusually quiet to him except for the gong of the old antique clock at the end of the hall, it echoed throughout the mansion and in his ears. The clock had been in the Xavier family for generations, the professor had told him and he wondered how many X-Men had stayed awake, just like him, lost in their thoughts only to have the rude chime of the clock roughly snap them out of it. Of course they didn’t have the same type of hearing Logan had so he supposed it wasn’t nearly as irritating. He briefly thought of Scott sitting up at night in the wee hours thinking of Jean Grey and surprisingly that didn’t sadden or anger him this time. Kurt was the reason for that. He looked over at his mischievous companion, brow slightly furrowed in sleep. He ran his hand down Kurt’s bare arm, tracing the muscles there and smiled.

It’s been two weeks since Logan’s close call with the reaper and Kurt was still ill at ease. He was almost waiting for Logan’s attackers to strike again. Of course he tried his best not to show this around Logan, but he saw right through him. He knew he was worried when he’d catch him letting his stare linger longer than usual. His look would start out the usual way - smoky eyes with a deep appreciation and desire, Kurt’s “bedroom eyes,” then turn into something desperate and clutching as if his eyes alone could keep him in a protective grip. Then that hint of sadness would show through. Logan knew how to read Kurt’s eyes after years of being the man’s best friend. He caught him more than once doing it. In one such instance Logan just smiled at him fondly and shook his head lightly. Kurt was trying so hard to be strong for him and he was, like a rock, Logan thought, he always had been. From the briefing Kurt gave the X-men about his findings on Logan’s attackers he knew that Kurt left some things out, he was less than a gentleman to the man; he couldn’t help but feel touched and a bit flattered at such rage and care on his behalf. Though, he would never want Kurt to feel put in a position to kill on Logan’s account he still appreciated the gesture of a good scare. He felt his feelings for the man swell even bigger than he thought possible.

The days before his attack when it looked like they were both as good as through, he realized how bleak his world was without Kurt and it was plain that he loved him. As much as he tried to fight it, he couldn’t help falling. His feelings which started out as simple desire turned to much more. More than the love of a friend with the occasional sexual indulgence but the love one would feel for a partner. He felt his whole being swell with appreciation when he realized… Kurt loved him too. That Kurt chose him, he knew it couldn’t be easy to love a man such as him with all his dark history and baggage but he did just the same, and though he wasn’t religious he felt this must be what it’s like to be blessed or however that stuff works. Logan didn’t need a church when Kurt was his rock. As far as he was concerned, Kurt was all he needed. Logan laid a light kiss on Kurt’s shoulder before he too started to drift off into darkness with a look of content that shone brightly on his face.

 

^^^

The feral mutant suddenly felt a bit colder in his bed, that warmth that wrapped him up and made him feel safe and at home was gone. Logan reached his hand out, searching, always searching for that soft yet strong form of his companion.

“Elf?” Logan said in a hoarse voice.

“I’m here…” Logan heard a faint accented voice. “I’m in the bathroom. I’m just finishing up.”

“Take your time.” Logan sounded less anxious than he actually was; he really wanted to touch Kurt right now.

It had been a rough month but as usual Kurt weathered it like a prince. Logan thinks he played it smart for perhaps the first time in his long life when he set his sights on Kurt. Things were going well again and they had discussed many issues that had plagued their relationship before his attack. And yes he himself talked too. That in itself was an amazing feat. He communicated in a way that didn’t send Kurt storming out, something was happening where Logan was becoming more patient and Kurt himself was becoming more open and less evasive. It’s as if him and Kurt together made them stronger and brought out the best in each other. They worked it out and more so because they wanted to. Logan wanted to. Logan gave an ironic little snort. He also felt extremely lucky to have fallen in love with his best friend, not to make it sound like him being with Kurt was out of convenience but Kurt always had a tendency to bring out more in Logan, so it’s seems the romantic changes did not deter that. And he liked to believe he brought something out in Kurt. They were good for each other but not in a way that would stifle either of them. They were still… well, them. Logan hated to admit it, but one of the things he missed when he thought him and Kurt were finished was their communication. He hadn’t realized how much he depended on it.

Jean Grey was a thing of the past, but Kurt… he was real, not a figment but something possible. Somewhere Logan lucked out and managed to bag the roguish flirt that was Kurt Wagner, he knew a good thing when he saw it and he was gonna do his damnedest not to screw it up. Logan put his arm over his eyes as the sun had risen completely and filled the room in bright light. His enhanced senses then picked up the light rustle of clothing and scent of his companion. He looked over to see Kurt clad in a small white towel wrapped around his hips and rummaging through the drawers.

“There you are, Darlin.’ Why didn’t you wake me? I could have helped you with your shower.”

Kurt turned around and smiled fondly at Logan and sighed in exasperation. “Help me? More like I’d never get it done. You, Logan, have no self-control.” The young German chuckled warmly and deeply, the way that melted Logan’s hard exterior.

Logan had to laugh at Kurt lecturing him on self-control. “Sorry, I’ll keep my hands to myself.” Logan pursed his lips in an attempt to look contrite.

Kurt snickered at Logan’s expression. The blue mutant then gave Logan one of his more smoldering smiles, one of the smiles that made you want to do naughty things. “Now why would you want to do that?” He then proceeded to jump onto Logan’s bed, barely even moving Logan’s heavy metal laced skeleton. Kurt’s face was close to his, he could feel his warm breath on his skin and he shivered. He felt his heart speed up as Kurt reached out to stroke his face and lay a tender kiss on his lips. Logan wanted more, however, he felt he was about to explode. Kurt had been being careful since his attack but his healing factor was back and in full swing. He shouldn’t be this worried. But sometimes fear wasn’t always rational, not when you have barely healed scars from the past. Like Logan, Kurt has had his fair share of loss. He remembered when he reunited with Kurt after his friend almost lost his life in the morlock tunnels. He had become extra protective of Kurt the first weeks of their reunion.

“I missed you. It’s cold in this bed without ya.” He rubbed his hand along Kurt’s velvet-furred arm.

Kurt smiled apologetically. “I’m sorry. I thought I’d get an early start. I’m to help Scott and Kitty with the Easter egg hunt this afternoon. We are heading into the city after breakfast. I would have woken you but you looked so tired and I thought you needed the rest. “

Logan took Kurt’s hand from his face and kissed it. “I’m here, Kurt, all whole and healed. I’m not going anywhere.”

Kurt swallowed and stared at Logan, he seemed a bit surprised by Logan’s words. He opened and closed his mouth but it appeared he could not grasp words at that moment.

“Are you actually speechless, Kurt?” Logan laughed. He felt nervous. Maybe Logan’s intensity would scare Kurt away? Besides Logan was a bit further along than Kurt in the idea of the two of them since he wanted this years before he even approached the young man.

Kurt looked into his eyes and said in all seriousness, “I just may hold you to that, Herr Logan.”

“And Kurt, you don’t have to treat me so frailly. I am healed and I’m as healthy as ever, babe. Healing factor is at full capacity so you don’t have to worry.”

Kurt smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to be an old mother.”

“Forgiven. Anyway, if you ever want to throw me down and make wild and passionate love to me feel free to do so anytime you’d like. “Logan replied.

At this Kurt’s face turned violet and his tail began to flap back and forth anxiously, he could also sense Kurt’s arousal. He smiled smugly. “Well, well, got the ole scoundrel blushing, did I?”

“Well Logan, after tonight’s dinner you may get your wish. Or you can throw me down and ravish me.” Kurt waggled his eyebrows.

Logan shifted his lower body as he felt himself growing hard and a rumble escaped from his chest. “We can do both.”

Kurt leaned over and kissed Logan quickly on the lips before getting out of bed much to Logan’s regret. Kurt took a quick breath and said. “But now I have duties to perform.” He was at the closet this time, looking through his wardrobe. Kurt felt it a bit lax; it’s been a while since he had gotten some clothes. His closet has become almost as spartan as his feral lovers. Kurt could feel Logan’s gaze on him as he looked through the closet. It heated his entire body.

“Mmm, that one right there looks good. “ Logan said when Kurt came to a short sleeved black shirt with grey stripes going across it and a button up collar. He loved how that shirt hugged Kurt’s physique and the lines stretched over his firm chest muscles.

Kurt blushed; he knew Logan liked this shirt. “Well, why not? It’s just as good as any shirt.”

Logan adored Kurt attempting to be modest at Logan’s ogling. The older man snorted. Logan watched as Kurt dropped his towel, displaying his wonderful ass and reached for a pair of black bikini underwear and black jeans. Logan made a whistling noise and Kurt laughed. He put on the underwear, then the jeans and reached for the shirt and put it on. He then put on his socks and some black lace-up boots. He dressed slowly, playfully making a show of it. “And now for the finale…”

“You’re a damn tease, Wagner.”

“And you’re a dirty old man, Logan. And I love you.” Kurt suddenly stiffened at his words. He was almost afraid to turn around and see Logan’s disapproving expression but when he finally looked at his old friend he saw quite the opposite. Logan’s eyes were calm and deep and full of affection, desire and love. His look was confident and open, leaving little to hide.

Logan smiled, blue eyes shining. “I love you too, Kurt.”

Kurt let out a long breath, feeling relieved. “Yes, well. I’ll see you later at the Egg hunt?”

“Later. Bet on it.” He winked before putting a cigarette to his lips.

 

^^^

Kurt could barely concentrate on shopping at the local department store; he was thinking too much of his plans later tonight after dinner. He was planning on this being the night to make his and Logan’s sexual relationship complete. He felt the time was as good as any to do it, even better actually now that the school was having a short break due to the holiday and Kurt and his students were actually ahead in his class so he was able to ease off a bit, he felt lighter and freer than he had in a while. He was still afraid of disappointing Logan but not enough to deter him and he himself found he wanted it more and more, but Logan’s attack put that on the back burner. Since Logan’s close call Kurt had been feeling braver. He decided to take Logan’s luck of cheating death as a sign. Logan was, quite frankly, the best thing to happen to him in a long time. He would not ruin it. Kurt had a habit of cutting others off when things got too intense both personally and romantically. He had finally admitted that to himself. Though, he knows he’ll still have a need for space, Logan will too, that’s just how they work, but he won’t let it get so that it becomes a hindrance. As confident as he sounded to himself he was still fearful something would happen. That he would do something to hurt Logan or turn him away to the point of irreparable damage.

Kurt sighed. He really should stop worrying. He has a strong and handsome man who apparently loves him. He should start enjoying it. Kurt looked through the assortment of egg decoration kits for the proper kind. Scott wanted to make it fun and educational. Kurt was a bit surprised that Scott's becoming more involved in the family activities. Married life may have something to do with it.

He heard someone clear his throat behind him, it was Kitty. “That’s all you got? Boy, you really are distracted, huh?”

Kurt turned around to see Kitty Pryde with a basket full of supplies. “Kitty.” Kurt frowned in apology. “Sorry, Katchzen, I’ll get a move on.”

“It’s all right. It seems you were pretty shaken up quite recently. I know I’d be quite sluggish too.”

“Actually, it’s not about that. It’s, um…” Kurt felt himself blush and wanted to kick himself, what was he doing telling Kitty about this?

“It’s what?”

“Never mind…”

Kitty said, “Ah, say no more, Fuzzy.”

Kurt looked at her and blushed further. Kitty laughed. Kurt responded feeling uncomfortable. “What?”

“Nothing.” Kitty said, suddenly sounding innocent.

As Kurt finished getting the rest of the supplies he made his way to the checkout with Kitty. Scott was already sitting at the bench in front with several bags. He looked to be waiting; he was looking at his watch. Uh oh... Kurt chuckled; leave it to Scott to be the first one done. After Kurt and Kitty had their items paid for and bagged they made their way over to Scott.

“I’m sorry, Scott.” Kurt apologized. “It was my fault. I guess I’m a little slow today.”

Scott‘s face went from a little impatient and anxious to a small smile. “That’s alright, Kurt. It’s been a tough couple of weeks hasn’t it?”

Kurt and Kitty looked at each other and blinked and looked back at Scott in surprise. Scott had finally after so many years learned to enjoy himself from the time he first met him, then when the Purifiers and more anti-mutant politics had been becoming more prominent in the media it seemed to blow it all away again. But this was not so evident today. He cared about Scott, he was his family and he loved him, he knew he was just worried for mutants and that extended to the X-Men, the only family he had ever known. Like Kurt, Scott was an orphan. He just dealt with the stress differently. He was a good leader and an honorable man. And a friend.

“Yes. Yes it has.” At that Kurt smiled. “But it is the holidays, Mein Freund.” Kurt reached into his bag and pulled out some bunny ears and put them on Scott. Kitty put her hand to her face and let out a laugh. “Let us enjoy it.” Kurt put his arm around a bemused Scott and led him out of the store. “Come on, Scott. Let’s go next door. I’ll buy us all a coffee. There’s time. It’s been a while since we’ve talked.”

^^^

“Another drink, my lady?” 

The blonde at the bar looked up suddenly as the man shocked her out of her thoughts. “Oh, yes. Thanks, Sean.”

“Don’t mention it, hon. This one is on the house.”

To the patrons of Sean’s Old Town Tavern this woman was just another pretty blonde. Little did they know it was really none other than Raven Darkholme, terrorist at large, and she was waiting for information. Information on her children and specifically her son… Kurt Wagner. There was never a person that stirred so many emotions in her being as her estranged son. One thing was certain; he was a lot more of a challenge than Rogue was. But then he didn’t abandon Anna and almost kill her either. Well at least that’s what Kurt thinks happened. It was for his own good really at the time. Best he think the worst of his blood mother than become harmed. Despite her behavior she did love her son. But he was so different from her and so alien it’s a wonder he had come from her body. He did not always understand him and even questioned his ways, there were parts of him that annoyed her, like his code to not kill at all costs. Her son had almost died at the hands of prejudiced humans more than once, at these thoughts Ravens fist tightened, how long will passive resistance work until he’s finally killed? Not to mention how he looks down on her with Logan in the X-Men of all people and what’s more, he seems to be Kurt’s best friend. Raven swallowed, feeling a jumble of emotions welling in her. Such an infuriating young man!

She looked to her side and saw the man she had been waiting most of the evening for.

“Hey, Raven.” The man had grey hair and a thick New York accent. He was dressed in a trench coat.

You’re late.” She said dryly.

“Ah, yeah well, the holidays. You know…” He smiled sheepishly.

“…” Raven just looked at him.

“Or maybe you don’t know, huh?” The man looked sympathetic.

That was an understatement, thought Raven. She hadn’t celebrated any holidays since Rogue… and Destiny.

“Come on, Bill. Spit it out already, please. I’m not in the mood for games.”

Bill saw Ravens sullen demeanor and took pity on her. “Ok, ok. Sorry, Geez. Well there really isn’t much to tell. Kurt, your boy, seems fine and healthy except for that scare with his teammate a little while ago.”

“Scare? Who?”

“Wolverine.”

“Oh. Is it too much to hope that he hadn’t survived?” Raven despite her words did not really wish deadly harm on Logan but his hypocrisy enraged her and the fact that he could inspire such confidence in her son while her dark past causes him to judge her. Logan was a worthy foe to be sure. And occasional ally. She could not deny that.

He chuckled. “Sorry to say, no. But it did get pretty close.” He put a cigarette to his lips and lit it. “It seems he was kidnapped by anti-mutant extremists. They almost finished him.”

Raven felt herself fill with dread, “My son..?”

“As I said, he’s fine. It was an isolated incident and happened while he was out on his own. Your son was safe back at the mansion that time. “

Raven raised an eyebrow. “That time? What do you mean?”

Bill cleared his throat and smiled nervously. This wasn’t going to be pretty. Bill knew full well how Raven was when a child of hers was shacking up with someone she didn’t approve of. And Wolverine, well… nothing needed saying there.

“Well?” Raven sighed. “Please Bill, can you jus-“

“Well, word has it Kurt and your old friend Logan are… oh, hell, I’ll just say it, plowing each other.”

Ravens spit out her drink and her eyes went wide. They looked like two saucers, she did her best impression of a fish before she made a fist and her face took on a sinister look. Maybe Kurt and she had more in common than she thought. “That…”

Bill took a napkin from the counter and wiped her mouth. “Now c’mon Raven, you can’t be angry your son is a fairy, not with your past relationships.”

“Don’t play with me, Bill; you know that’s not the reason. It’s Logan. The slime! If he hurts my child…” Raven felt herself fume at the idea of her son being touched and used in such a way by someone Raven did not feel was worthy. She still thought to Logan’s past betrayals and her mood became darker.

Bill sighed, “Raven, please. If it makes you feel any better, from what I could gather, he is pretty happy with him. He treats him good. ”

“Well…” She had to admit Logan had been a good friend to her son and seemed to always have a fierce protectiveness with him, and their unique closeness, maybe all signs pointed to this conclusion. But still she could not help but think of what Logan was and can still be capable of. “Still, if he hurts my son, he will answer to me. Perhaps I should pay him a visit.”

“Oh, I know what that tone means.” Bill took another drag of his cigarette and shook his head.

“I’m just concerned, Bill. As a father, you should be able to understand, right?” Raven said in irritation.

“Hey, no need to get angry. Just suggesting you think this through and maybe lighten up your approach a bit. Or you may lose him for good. You’re my friend and I’d hate to see that happen. “

“I’m… sorry, Bill. I’m always a bit on edge around the holidays.”

Bill laid a hand on Ravens shoulder. “Hey, Raven. You should lighten up a bit. Smile. There is still time to mend things.”

Raven replied, “But how?”

“Try not to see everything as a fight to win. Be patient, show your son you can listen, and show him you care. That’s the important thing, right?”

“I suppose.” She smiled slightly.

He patted her back. “That’a girl. Now let me buy you your next drink. We’ve got some catching up to do.”

  


^^^

The Easter egg hunt was in full swing at Xavier’s. The yard was filled with excited children with bunny ears and painted bunny faces, scrambling around for the keys that would bring them their prize.

A black mutant girl squeed in glee when she spotted the egg that would win the ultimate prize. She picked it up and held it like a prized treasure. Kurt watched her and smiled. The young girl spotted him and laughed. “Mr. Wagner, Mr. Wagner! Look what I got! Look!”

He picked her up and examined the egg. “I see that, Chenille. Very good.”

Logan watched Kurt from the distance and smiled as his lover stood passively and patiently as the girl lightly poked at his mouth, trying to examine his fangs.

“Kurt said. “Is everything where it should be?”

The young girl giggled. “Yes, silly. You have teeth like my cat.”

“Kurt smiled. “That’s me. I’m like a big blue cat.”

Logan heard the entire exchange and snorted. The Elf sure was good with kids. He had a lot more patience than he did. He would never say this, but he actually found Kurt’s way with the kids made him that much more sexy. He also thought briefly with some sadness about Kurt wanting kids and a family in the past and wondered if that still held true.

“Hey, Logan.” Logan turned around to see Kitty there.

“Hey, Punkin.’”

“Are you being good to my Fuzzy Elf?”

“Sure am. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Good.”

“The Elf sure loves kids, doesn’t he?”

Kitty said. “Yeah, but he is a ham and a performer, I think he just likes such a ready audience.” Kitty caught the hint of melancholy in Logan’s voice.

“Nah, its more than that. He’s meant to be a father…” Logan frowned slightly before taking a sip of his beer.

Kitty put her hand on his shoulder. She said nothing as they stood together in silence.

^^^

The X-Men sat around the large table in the dining hall with Xavier at its head. He picked up the carving knife and big fork and proceeded to carve the ham. Emma started and took a serving of vegetables then passed the serving plate to Scott. Charles finished carving the ham and took some for himself before he passed it to Emma. Then he picked up his wine and said. “A toast. To family.”

The X-Men raised their glasses and said. “To family.”

Kurt smiled as he took a sip of his wine. “And to love.”

The X-men looked at Kurt and smiled. The young Germans statement caused a couple of knowing looks and laughs to sound from the X-Men.

“I’ll agree to that, Kurt.” Scott smiled as he looked at Emma and Emma smiled back. Then Scott looked back at Logan and said, more than a little self-consciously, “I’m glad you are ok, Logan. And I… wish you and Kurt well.”

Kurt held his breath as he looked over at Logan, he knew things could get tense with the two. _Come on Logan, don’t be a stubborn fool…_  
Logan gave a half smile. “Thanks, Slim. That means a lot.”

Kurt sighed in relief and placed his hand on Logan’s. Kurt leaned over to Logan and whispered in his ear. ”After dinner … let’s say you and I make use of all this free time.”

Logan swallowed and patted his mouth with a napkin, almost choking on his drink. ”You’re killin’me, Kurt.’”

“Well, it’s been a long time since I put this limber body to use. I suggest a different alternative to the danger room.” Kurt placed his hand on Logan’s knee.

Logan felt his cock harden against his leg and his palms sweat. The older man sighed and said in a warning tone, “Elf…”

Kurt smiled devilishly. “I know. I’m a tease.”

^^^

Kurt and Logan could barely make it through the door of Logan’s room because they were too busy using their hands in other ways. They touched each other desperately and were kissing each other as if starved. Logan had begun to remove Kurt’s jacket while Kurt struggled for the door knob.

“Mph, Logan. I have to—I can’t – ohh.” Kurt scrabbled at the door knob as Logan stroked the base of his tail; he wondered how he could even get the door open after that. He usually becomes putty with such a move.

“Mm, Kurt.” Logan was gasping.

“Logan – Logan, really, if we stop for just a – mmmph – moment we – GASP- will be able to finish what we are attempting – mmm- to start here. Nein?” Logan had his lips on Kurt’s neck and hand on his backside at this point and Kurt could barely form the strength to think or speak coherently.

Logan chuckled then he said in a low tone, “But this is part of the fun… seeing you put off guard. ” Logan dived in for a kiss. “Mmmm.” Kurt sighed into the kiss and returned it with equal passion, their tongues twined together. Then Logan pulled away leaving Kurt panting. He put his hand to Kurt’s face and said, “But you’re right, we better move this into the bedroom.”

Logan opened the door and grabbed Kurt’s hand. He yanked him inside and pushed him up against the door for dramatic effect. “Now… where were we? Oh, right…” He began to kiss Kurt’s neck again then he grabbed Kurt’s ass, he pulled up Kurt’s left leg and draped it over his hip causing Kurt to gasp.

“Logan…”Kurt scrabbled for leverage as he was overcome with sensation. Logan slowly started to rub his groin against Kurt’s and the blue mutant tightened his leg around Logan and clutched at the older man’s back. Logan started to pick up the pace as he rubbed his erection against the younger mans. This new pace caused Kurt to lose his balance and knock his head lightly against the door.

Logan caught this. “Sorry…”

Kurt just laughed and Logan began to laugh with him. Now they were all breaths, and sighs and laughs and moans of pleasure. There was so much joy both men thought they may explode from it.

Kurt was close to coming, he tightened his arms around Logan and buried his face in Logan’s shoulder, lightly kissing and nipping the spicy cologne scented skin there. He wrapped his leg around Logan harder and dug his heel into Logan’s thigh further, nearly causing the older mutant pain. The Canadian hardly cared as the look and feel of Kurt like this was worth it and almost more beautiful than he could handle. Both men ground themselves against each other for a couple of more minutes, gasping and moaning uncontrollably until the German man came intensely with a cry and a sigh. Logan followed shortly with a long groan.

Both men panted heavily and Kurt slunk against the door. Logan leaned his head on Kurt’s shoulder. Kurt stroked Logan’s wild main of hair and said, “I think… I may… have a heart attack…” Kurt laughed.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait, Darlin.’ I still have plans. I’ve been wanting you way too long. The short time we’ve been apart almost killed me. Then I had to recover from that attack. I was about to lose it if I didn’t just…”

“Throw me down and make wild love to me?” Kurt laughed. He was still panting from his orgasm. Kurt sighed. “I’m not complaining, Schatz.”

“Mmm. “Logan kissed Kurt long and deep.

Both men pulled away and Kurt said. “Now…” Kurt looked Logan deep in the eyes with an evil grin and said “It’s time I returned the favor, nein?” With that, Kurt made his way down Logan’s body. He attentively reached for Logan’s zipper and pulled it down, he moved Logan’s underwear to the side and grabbed Logan’s erection and pulled it out. Logan’s cock was so hard it sprung out of the confines of his jeans.

Logan moaned and closed his eyes, releasing heavy breaths from his throat. “That’s a good place to start.”

“Indeed.” Kurt placed his lips on the rosy pink head of Logan’s cock. He had never done this before but of course, had it done to him. Kurt felt unsure despite his confident words. Kurt just decided to throw caution to the wind and go for it. He grabbed the base of Logan’s erection, sliding his hand back and forth putting pressure and friction on Logan’s already painfully aroused cock.

“Oh, Kurt. Damn…” Logan made a small snarl and tugged at Kurt’s hair.

Kurt began to gain confidence; he smiled as Logan pulled at his hair and groaned. He must be doing something right. Kurt looked up at Logan and his breath caught. Logan looked so beautiful. His body was chiseled and covered in sheen of sweat; his face was thrown back in blissful pleasure, his mouth open in a silent cry. In that moment Kurt wondered how he suddenly became so blessed with such good luck. This impassioned Kurt further as he wrapped his lips around Logan’s cock even tighter and he applied more suction with his mouth. He built up the speed of his hand movements, now Logan was panting and moaning Kurt’s name without pause. This made Kurt more aroused. Soon Logan was coming with a hoarse cry. Logan was pulling Kurt’s hair to the point of near pain but he still caught every drop of Logan’s essence.

“Kurt…”

Kurt stood up and kissed Logan, and Logan returned the kiss lustfully. “Are you up for more, alter mann?”

“Oh, look at you now, getting all cheeky. Just you wait.” Logan said between breaths.

“I certainly **can’t** wait.” With that Kurt stood in front of Logan and started removing his clothes slowly.

“Oh, you’re gonna be the death of me, you are.” Logan let out a long moan.

Kurt just laughed lowly as he continued removing his clothing piece by piece, he took his time. Feelings of arousal and impatience battled for dominance inside Logan at Kurt’s little show. He finally was down to his black bikini underwear; he left them on and stood in front of Logan with a playful grin.

“And…” Logan said. He was so aroused he could barely speak as his voice wavered.

“And…” Kurt said innocently before he grabbed a rose in the vase on Logan’s dresser and put it between his teeth. He launched at Logan and toppled him back onto the bed, straddling his body.

“Oomph! You’re an animal, alright.” Logan chuckled. 

“Then I’m in good company then. A perfect fit.” Kurt kissed Logan lightly. The young man opened Logan’s shirt, button by button and opened it as if opening a gift, he then ran his hand down Logan’s chest. He removed the rose from his teeth and traced light kisses down Logan’s chest and abdomen. The older man sighed and stroked Kurt’s hair. Kurt then removed Logan’s clothes and then his socks and shoes.

“I know what I want, Kurt. How about you?” Logan said as he reached out and stroked Kurt’s face.

“I believe there was something we’ve both been wanting for a while now, but I was too… afraid.”

At this Logan rubbed Kurt’s arm reassuringly, he felt his heart speed up at what Kurt was implying. He could hardly contain his arousal.

“But not anymore?” Logan smiled warmly.

“Well… a little, but I don’t care right now. I just know I want this.”

Logan sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Kurt reached under the pillow with his tail of where he stashed the lube earlier and brought it out, halting it in front of Logan’s face. Logan grabbed the tube and looked at it. Then he looked at Kurt. “Are you sure?”

“As sure as I’ll ever be.” Kurt laughed nervously and continued, “Now, let’s stop with this or I’ll get more nervous.”

“All right then…” Logan reached his hands down and grabbed Kurt’s underwear and slowly pulled them down. He then took Kurt by the shoulders and smoothly flipped Kurt onto his back. Kurt’s eyes went wide in excitement. “Logan!”

“I’m takin’ over now you smug punk.” Logan said lowly and fondly as he swooped in for a kiss. Kurt put his hand on the back of Logan’s head and returned the kiss. Logan then started to kiss Kurt’s neck, he lingered there, kissing the pulse point, then he trailed kisses and nips along his shoulders and collar bone. Kurt sighed as Logan then kissed his chest and belly, tonguing his sensitive navel. Kurt squirmed and let out a contented purr. Logan[b] loved[/b] it when Kurt did that. It could melt him on the spot.

“Mmm, Logan. By all means, I am yours.” Kurt sighed.

Logan was still tonguing his navel. Now that he had Kurt good and relaxed he grabbed the lube and snapped off the cap. Both men's pulse raced at the sound as it echoed in the room, punctuating what was about to come.

“I like the sound of that.” Logan said, responding to Kurt's words. Kurt spread his legs to give Logan better access. Then Logan greased his finger and slowly inserted it into Kurt’s entrance. Kurt watched intently. “Just stay relaxed. This could be a bit uncomfortable in the beginning.”

Kurt simply smiled and nodded, though there was an edge of concern in his expression. Kurt raised his eyebrow as Logan’s finger was only half way in, trying to get a feel for Logan’s touch. Now Logan’s finger was all the way in, the older man pushed it in and out.

“Ok?” Logan had to check.

Kurt nodded, then Logan curled his finger and brushed against a spot deep inside him and Kurt let out a gasp. The blue mutant grasped Logan’s arm and closed his eyes.

“There we are.” Logan said. He brushed over Kurt’s prostate again, causing another gasp to come from Kurt’s lips. Logan bent and kissed Kurt quickly before he coated his erection, it was aching and ready to be inside Kurt. He then positioned his cock at Kurt’s opening before pushing himself inside his lover.

“Logan…” Kurt moaned as Logan completely sheathed himself in Kurt’s tight heat. He felt as if his whole body was being filled. His older lover was huge! His face crinkled briefly in pain.

Logan saw Kurt’s discomfort and kissed his face. “Easy. Relax, Darlin.’” The older man then grabbed Kurt’s cock and stroked it, hoping the pleasure would erase the pain. Kurt moaned and relaxed, so Logan was able to move. Kurt displayed less signs of pain. Logan pulled out and pushed back in again causing Kurt to moan some more. Finally, Logan had built up a slow rhythm. He was going to be patient but it was very hard to control himself, Kurt’s body was immensely tight. It was like only getting a scrap of a much larger meal. He wanted more. He was hungry for his young lover. He wanted to pound into Kurt and make him beg but not before he was ready.

“Oh, Logan…” Kurt spread his legs wider and moaned, “Please, more...”

Logan was more than ready to oblige him. Logan felt the fire in his belly rage as he pulled out and thrust back home in one swift, hard stroke. This caused Kurt to cry out and throw his head back, eyes shut tight. The look of agony mixed with pleasure displayed on Kurt’s face egged him on further. Logan could hardly believe he was finally here, where he desired to be for so long, Kurts tight, hot body which proved to be more pleasurable than even he had imagined. “Kurt, oh god, Kurt.”

“Logan! Uhn!” Kurt wrapped his legs around Logan’s hips and pulled him further inside, this caused Logan to snarl and groan. The feral mutant nipped Kurt’s jaw and neck before latching his lips onto a pert blue nipple. Kurt gasped as his nipple was being suckled and he was becoming overcome with the sensation of being stretched and filled, each stroke of Logan’s reaching deep inside him and hitting that spot that brought heated bliss to his entire body.

Kurt dug his fingers into Logan’s back and road the waves of pleasure and let it take him to new heights. Both men were overcome with sensation and passion. Both were panting heavily. When Logan found the ability to form words he said, “Y-your right, Elf. We are a perfect fit.” He punctuated the sentence with a loud groan.

Logan picked up the pace of his strokes and angled his thrusts so that each time he would hit that spot that turned Kurt into a lusty animal. Kurt gasped and writhed and let out a cry at each thrust. “Oh, yeah. C’mon, Darlin. Let me hear you. Mmm.” Logan groaned.

They continued like this for a long time, body meeting body. The sound of the men’s flesh slapping against each other, the moans and the heavy breaths echoed throughout the room in a symphony. Kurt pulled Logan down for a long, hard kiss. Kurt let go of Logan’s mouth and gasped, “Oh-Oh Gott!”

“Elf…”

Kurt felt his orgasm approaching like an unstoppable tide. “Nnnh!”

Logan too felt he was coming close to completion. “Damn, you’re beautiful.”

After a few more forceful thrusts Kurt came thick and hard, his seed spending itself on Logan’s belly. ”Logan!”

Logan continued to push inside of Kurt’s body until he couldn’t any more. He too finally came, releasing his desire inside Kurt with a feral groan, Kurt’s name on the edge of his lips. Logan laid his head on Kurt’s belly. He was gasping for breath as he stroked the German man’s chest. “Oh, Darlin.’ What you do to me.”

Kurt lies in a dazed euphoria as he stroked Logan’s now messy hair. “Well… I’m certainly glad I decided to give this a try.”

Logan looked up into Kurt’s face and smiled playfully with a wild look in his eyes. “Well, you did a hell of a job.”

Kurt looked deeply at Logan for a moment before he burst out laughing. “Will they sing songs about it?”

“They might, only if I get a verse.”

“I suppose you had a role in it too.”

“Not too cocky are we?”

Kurt grabbed Logan’s face and kissed him. “You make it easy. Mmm.”

After the kiss Logan grabbed the blanket on the bed and scooted over. He opened his arm to Kurt, beckoning him. “C’mere.” Kurt snuggled into Logan’s side and laid his head on Logan’s broad chest and sighed. Logan shut the light on the nightstand. Kurt hummed in content as Logan stroked his back.

“You love doing that don’t you?” Kurt asked before letting out a big yawn.

“What?”

“Stroking my fur.”

“Of course. Just about as much as you love me stroking it. You purr like a big cat.”

Kurt let out an undignified noise and said,”I do **not** purr, thank you very much.”

“Sure you do.” Logan laughed.

“Well…”

“You know I love you, Wagner.” Logan said before laying a kiss on Kurt’s shoulder.

Kurt embraced Logan tightly and replied. “And I love you, Herr Logan.”

Realization of something desired or worked for; accomplishment. Fruition.

^^^


End file.
